Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Helping others gives lives focus
"True success does not consist in doing what we set forth to do, doing something that is worth doing what we had hoped to do, nor even in doing what we have struggled to do," former Harvard President Abbott Lowell said in a 1914 baccalaureate sermon, "but in doing something that is worth doing."
Instead of seeking to make the world better for others, too many people believe that unhappiness can be remedied by focusing on themselves — a coping method fueled by popular culture, said Dr. David Falcone, a professor of psychology at La Salle University in Philadelphia.
"We do this with food, music, beliefs, relationships and therapeutic hours," he said. "We consume them all. Use them to fill the void. And in some cases, it helps — hungry people need to eat."
But what they fail to realize, he said, is it isn't what they don't have that makes them unhappy, but what they don't do.
For example, while studies show that the level of well-being and life satisfaction correlates with religion, 20-somethings are the least likely to attend church or seek out volunteer opportunities.
Among 18- to 29-year-olds, less than one-third attend church once a week, said Scott Keeter, director of survey research at the Pew Research Center, a nonpartisian public opinion research organization based in Washington. That's compared with 36 percent of 30- to 49-year-olds; 42 percent of those ages 50 to 64; and 55 percent of people 65 and older.
"Of all the religious characteristics, church attendance is associated not only with better mental health but better physical health," said Dr. Harold G. Koenig, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center. "It gives people a more positive, optimistic view of the world, especially young people looking for mates or struggling with their jobs."
And according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, volunteer rates in 2003 were lowest among people age 65 and older (23.7 percent) and among those in their early 20s (19.7 percent).
"You're more likely to hear an unhappy person say, 'I don't know what to do with myself' or 'I don't know which way to turn,' " Falcone said. "And yet, so often, we ineffectively try and resolve these moments by consuming. We take in hours of entertainment and consume what pleasures we can."
Research by the Points of Light Foundation, a nonprofit that links families, neighborhoods, organizations and corporations in volunteer activities, shows that not only does
childhood volunteering set in motion a pattern that is likely to remain strong throughout life, kids who volunteer were found to have experienced more psychological, social and intellectual growth than youths who do not.
So when Rakestraw arrived four years ago at Stonewall Tell Elementary School, it was a way to remain true to the values her parents instilled in her.
"Although I'm not making as much as some of my peers," Rakestraw said, "I get awards through my students and their achievements and accomplishments and those who benefit from my community service."
She's also been careful to pass that legacy on to her students, encouraging them to reach out to others. Her third-grade class is currently collecting bottled water and clothes for hurricane victims in Haiti.
"The 'quarterlife crisis' is real for some and bunk for others," she said. "The problem for me is learning how to handle workplace jealousy, racial tensions and unethical and mean-spirited people. The rest of the time, I feel blessed."
Some of her friends, she said, haven't been so lucky. They've had a difficult time adjusting to the real world. Some haven't been able to find jobs while others are beginning to realize they don't like what they are doing.
One of them, Meshanna Chappell Marcus, 26, recently figured out she wasn't cut out for bank management.
As soon as she graduated from Georgia Southern University in 2000, Marcus landed a job as a financial service representative. From that moment on, she enjoyed raises and promotions, working her way up to branch manager.
But she was never happy having to always be in pursuit of a higher goal than the last one.
In November 2002, she dreamed she was in a classroom and really happy. Soon after, she enrolled at West Georgia University to become a special education teacher.
In July, Marcus — who said bankers' hours didn't leave much time for her to volunteer — left her office for the classroom at Lovejoy High School.
"When the light goes on in their heads and I see 'I got it' in their eyes, I love it," she said of students. "At the end of the day, I'm a lot more fulfilled."
By GRACIE BONDS STAPLES
Cox News Service
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Gracie Bonds Staples writes for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
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