Monday, January 10, 2005
The Health Benefits of Forgiveness
Scientific study reveals serious mental, emotional and physical consequences of an unforgiving heart.
To forgive is human. It's just very hard. People are wired to respond with anger, hold grudges and seek revenge; and in spite of the teachings of Christianity and other religions, victims of wrongdoing usually do all three.
The brother who tormented you when you were little. The spouse who cheated. The terrorists who changed our country forever on 9/11. Why should you forgive them?
Researchers and academics may have an answer, even for those who don't believe that the act of forgiveness is good for the soul. In recent years, scientists have gotten interested in the health benefits of forgiveness. Their studies have shown the serious mental, emotional and physical consequences of an unforgiving heart.
The lowest common denominator of this research is the flood of self-help and pop psychology books promoting forgiveness as a cure-all. At the other end of the spectrum, psychotherapists have found forgiveness to be a useful tool in reconciling couples and families. In some studies, it's been linked to a lessening of chronic back pain and depression; in others, to reduced levels of stress hormones. And scientists have found that forgiveness is one of several coping mechanisms that help people with HIV/AIDS live longer, or at least more satisfying, lives.
In 1997, research consisted of only 58 empirical studies. Since then, more than 1,200 scientific papers have been published on the subject.
''The topic of forgiveness is hot right now,'' says psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, author of ''How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To'' (HarperCollins, 2004). ''Conferences are being held. Articles are being written. Forgiveness is being plucked out of the spiritual and theological realm and put into the psychological and physical.''
Like acupuncture, meditation and other alternative healing strategies, forgiveness has only recently become a respectable topic of scientific studies. In 1990, psychologist Fred DiBlasio, a professor at the University of Maryland, Baltimore, submitted an article to an international scientific journal on his research. The journal was willing to publish it if he would agree to change the word ''forgiveness'' to ''forgetting.''
''It was too spiritual for them,'' says DiBlasio.
But forgiveness, of course, isn't the same thing as forgetting. He didn't make the change.
In his clinical practice, DiBlasio has found that using forgiveness can speed up therapy.
Some patients might not be comfortable with the concept of a forgiveness session, of working toward one person saying the words I forgive you. The Murrays, members of the Colonial Baptist Church congregation in Randallstown, Md., found it particularly helpful because it fit so well with their religious beliefs.
Most studies show that people who don't have profound faith have a more difficult time forgiving, says Everett Worthington, executive director of the Virginia-based foundation A Campaign for Forgiveness Research.
But isn't moving on possible without forgiveness, simply by letting go of your anger? Based on her research, Lydia Temoshok, director of the Behavioral Medicine Program at the Institute of Human Virology, University of Maryland, Baltimore, says no. ''It's letting go, and I forgive you. It's something about that added component. Then you close the circle. It's not just stopping something, but starting a new pattern.''
She works with HIV/AIDS patients, which, she says, can involve a lot of forgiveness. Do they forgive people for not accepting them? Do they forgive the person who infected them? Do they forgive God? Do they forgive themselves? Do they forgive science for not having a cure?
The program's preliminary work suggests that forgiveness lowered the stress hormones that in turn affect the immune system, but only when the patients genuinely forgave the ones they blamed.
However, Jeffrie Murphy, author of ''Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits'' (Oxford University Press, 2003), argues we shouldn't condemn those who choose not to forgive. He worries, for instance, about the abused wife who forgives and then gets beaten up again.
''Forgiveness can be a great blessing, but it should be used selectively,'' he says. ''There's a kind of messianic pro-forgiveness movement out there. The forgiveness crowd is always saying that forgiveness will give you closure. But also seeing (offenders) get what they deserve can bring closure.''
By ELIZABETH LARGE
The Baltimore Sun
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