TruthBook Religious News Blog

Friday, May 11, 2007
Brent Castillo

There's no doubt that mothers are special. I've seen ones who have a bottomless well of forgiveness when their kids continually mess up. Most of the moms I know expend enormous effort trying to feed their children properly and making them presentable in public. And we all know the cliche can be true that "he's got a face only a mother could love."

A 2005 study shed light on why. It was done for the Mothers' Council and sponsored by the University of Minnesota, University of Connecticut and the Institute for American Values. More than 93 percent of the mothers surveyed said the love they feel for their children is unlike any other love they have experienced.

It's so strong that it often extends to other people's children. More than 92 percent agreed with the statement, "After becoming a mother, I found myself caring more about the well-being of all children, not just my own." And 8 out of 10 said mothers are more responsible than other adults for children in general.

The Barna Group recently published research that confirms what many church-goers already suspected: Moms also take the lead role in spirituality in the home. According to the research, mothers are more likely than fathers to attend church, pray, read the Bible, participate in a small group, attend Sunday school and volunteer time to a non-profit organization.

The council's survey also showed that more than 41 percent of the respondents worked full time. It seems to be something most feel compelled to do. Only about 16 percent said they prefer full-time work, and most would rather work part time or from home.

But staying home is no cakewalk. Many stay-at-home moms feel they never get to leave their work, because home is their job.

We expect a lot from our mothers, and they usually deliver. Unfortunately, less than half feel appreciated most of the time, the survey showed, and one-in-five felt less valued by society since becoming a mom.

We're wearing out our women. And it makes me wonder, where are the men?

These women didn't become mothers on their own.

Men, including me, need to shoulder more of the burden. It's time for them to step up to the plate -- and serve it to their kids. Men could start by pitching in more around the house, going to church with their families and turning off the TV to talk to their wife and kids.

When men get serious about being a husband and a dad -- and do so in that order -- it pays off. All members of traditional families generally do better financially, socially and even mentally than those in alternate family forms.

Some men, especially those who are married, are doing things right.

Sixty-eight percent of married mothers named their spouse as their primary source of emotional support. That number steeply drops off to 52 percent for co-habitators. And while most mothers felt responsible for day-to-day care of their children, nearly 50 percent said they share that responsibility with their spouse or partner.

This coming Mother's Day, let's be sure to tell our moms how special they are. And dads can prove they mean it by putting their words into action.

Brent Castillo is a member of The Eagle's editorial board. Reach him at 316-268-6516 or at bcastillo@wichitaeagle.com.

Labels: Barna Group, Brent Castillo, children, families, fathers, Institute for American Values, mothers, Mothers' Council, stay-at-home