TruthBook Religious News Blog

Science measures physical as well as mental benefits
By Sandi Dolbee

August 16, 2008

Paul Livingston doesn't look like a victim. At 6-foot-7 and 330 pounds, he is taller than Michael Jordan and big enough to play offensive tackle for the San Diego Chargers. But 36 years ago, when he was only 6 years old, he became prey for a pedophile custodian at a Catholic school in Orange County.

Last summer, his lawsuit was one of more than 500 claims in a record $660 million settlement with the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles.

Then, in May, he took another step toward healing: During a weeklong program at a private institute near Napa, Livingston forgave his now-dead abuser.

“When I first heard 'forgiveness,' I could not imagine forgiving someone for doing such heinous acts to children. I thought it would be letting him off the hook,” says Livingston, who lives in San Diego. “Boy, have I been taught a lesson in life. Forgiveness is not about letting them off the hook. It's about continuing on with our journey. It frees up our soul, in a way. You let go of the anger.”

He says he can feel the difference. His acid reflux is gone. He's stopped yelling at his daughter. Livingston has discovered what science has been saying for years: Forgiveness is good for you. Literally.

FORGIVENESS

What it is: Researchers studying the health benefits of forgiveness generally define it as the process of letting go of the pain, anger and resentment caused by an offense.

What it isn't: Forgiveness isn't denying the hurt, nor is it having to trust someone who is not trustworthy or staying in a relationship that is not healthy. It is not instant; premature forgiveness could be a sign of low self-esteem or other problems.

Why it matters: Hundreds of studies have linked forgiveness to improved physical and emotional well-being. In controlled tests at the University of Wisconsin Madison, for example, researcher Robert Enright sums up the findings in two words: "Forgiveness works."

A new science is exploding. It's not about measuring the big bang or excavating the ice on Mars. This science is more homeward bound, dealing with a word that religions have exulted and people have largely eluded.

Since its emergence in the 1990s, the new science of forgiveness has mushroomed into hundreds of studies by researchers testing aspects ranging from the physical and mental health effects on college students seething over being dumped by their dates to abuse victims reeling from betrayal and people rendered paralyzed in accidents.

In journal after journal, year after year, the cumulative evidence is enough to even convince a team from “CSI.” Bag 'em and tag 'em: People who learn to forgive seem to have fewer cardiovascular problems and stress-related ailments, and generally feel happier than those still holding a grudge.

Just last month, the journal of Mental Health, Religion and Culture reported that people who forgave had decreased odds of depression – women more so than men. Another study published this year found that men generally have a harder time forgiving than women.

Religion & Ethics Editor Sandi Dolbee was one of 10 participants this summer in the Templeton-Cambridge Journalism Fellowships in Science and Religion.

Dolbee's project was on the science of forgiveness, particularly how the ancient religious virtue is being popularized by studies showing that it has mental and physical health benefits.

Perhaps it's ironic that the midwife for this birth was a theologian and ethicist. The late Lewis Smedes, of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, knew the God stuff. He knew the world's religions considered forgiveness a virtue. From Hinduism's Bhagavad Gita to the Koran of Islam to Christianity's Lord's Prayer, scriptures extol forgiveness as a heavenly attribute.

But Smedes was convinced that forgiveness was good for the forgiver, as well. And he wanted researchers to put it to the test. Everett Worthington Jr., a psychology professor at Virginia Commonwealth University who became a pioneer in forgiveness research, remembers Smedes' message this way: “We can do this. We can study it scientifically.”

The first challenge for researchers was the word itself. Just what is forgiveness?

“Forgiving does not mean excusing, forgetting or pretending that an offense never occurred,” says Julie Juola Exline, associate professor of psychology at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. “Forgiveness also does not imply that you trust the person who hurt you. Forgivers still seek le gal justice in some cases, and they may take steps to protect themselves from being hurt again.”

Instead, forgiveness is a letting go of the “bitter, grudging, vengeful feelings.”

It is a decidedly secular definition, far short of the radical forgiveness preached by Jesus, who told an offender to go and sin no more and offered forgiveness to his executioners even as he was dying.

“I think Jesus was an exemplar of forgiveness,” says Ken Pargament, a clinical psychologist at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. “We're not Jesus. For other human beings, forgiveness is a process.”

Part of that process is empathy, “putting yourself in the perspective of the person who hurt you rather than just demonizing them,” Pargament says.

Earlier this year, a Mayo Clinic journal reported that people who held grudges had increased blood pressure and heart rates, part of a mounting body of evidence, including a previous study of more than 2,000 twin pairs in Virginia that found that forgiveness related to less nicotine dependence and less drug abuse.

Other research found that HIV-infected patients took better care of themselves if they successfully forgave themselves and others. So did recovering alcoholics. People suffering spinal-cord injuries tended to cope better with their health situation and their treatments if they had forgiven.

Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, an associate professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Mich., decided to see what physical effects people exhibited when they remembered the transgressions against them. She focused on heart rate, blood pressure, facial muscles and sweat levels.

When people remembered the transgressions, the bio-markers showed elevated stress and tension. When she had them think about forgiveness, she says the results were significant. “It had this fascinating quelling effect,” she explains.

Witvliet also made headlines with a study of forgiveness involving 213 Vietnam military veterans experiencing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Her team found that vets who had trouble with forgiveness experienced more problems with PTSD.

As for the immune system, the theory is that unforgiveness is a personal stressor, which means every time it is felt, it triggers a stress reaction. Cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands, rushes to the body's defense, contributing energy, suppressing inflammation and even regulating the deposition of fat in the body. Too much cortisol, however, can interfere with the immune system over time. “Our bodies aren't designed to operate that way,” is how Worthington puts it in an interview from Virginia.

Researchers aren't ready to pronounce forgiveness as a cure. While forgiveness seems to contribute to a healthier existence, mentally and physically, the field of research is still too young to know exactly what part it plays in the human jigsaw. “I think we've got a long way to go,” says Witvliet, the Hope College researcher.

This is particularly true about long-term research, which could better define the role of forgiveness and unforgiveness in cumulative health and disease.

But those who have toiled in this field the longest – psychologists such as Worthington in Virginia and Robert Enright of the University of Wisconsin Madison – are bullish.

In an e-mail from Northern Ireland, where he spent much of the summer working on a forgiveness curriculum for schoolchildren, Enright says he now is more impressed with the power of forgiveness to heal than when he began his research two decades ago.

Worthington also is adamant. “It is not going to be refuted,” he says. “It's going to be refined.”

Labels: forgiveness, health, Lewis Smedes, Sandi Dolbee, science

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Friday, August 15, 2008

Self-care and spiritual forgiveness

By Patricia Gianotti
August 12, 2008 1:43 PM

When I speak with my own clients and various members of established spiritual groups, churches, and synagogues about the topic of self-forgiveness, invariably I get the same response. “Self-forgiveness? I don’t need a workshop on self-forgiveness. There are too many people that let themselves off the hook already.” However, when I ask the question, “How well do you take care of yourself?” often I hear the following responses:

• “Well, now that you mention it, I do always seem to put myself last. It’s true, I am exhausted all of the time.”

• “I don’t have time to take better care of myself. I’ve got too many obligations, and I don’t want to let anyone down.”

• “Of course I hold higher standards for myself than I do for other people. Isn’t that normal?”

• “Yes, I am terribly afraid of making mistakes, and I push myself pretty hard to be the best I can be. So when I make a mistake, I do feel stupid and worthless, like a complete failure, actually. But, this is how I’ve become as successful as I am, driving myself to go that extra mile.”

Medical research has shown that chronic periods of stress increase cortisol levels, which over time tax our immune systems. Psychological research has shown that people who drive themselves too hard eventually show symptoms of irritability, problems with sleep, decreases in energy, concentration, enthusiasm, optimism, and creativity. Spiritual literature points to the necessity/commandment of taking time for rest. Without rest the soul cannot be refreshed. Furthermore, from the spiritual perspective the ability to say, “I can’t do it all” is the first step toward humility. Unfortunately, the secular community seems to have lost its bearing in terms of understanding the difference between humiliation and humility. Regardless of belief, many of us could benefit from being reminded of the fundamental difference between these two states of mind.

Harsh, critical standards come from somewhere. Perhaps, it was a parent who was never quite pleased enough with your accomplishments; or perhaps, there was a complete lack of parental interest or encouragement for any of your true interests. Perhaps, you were told to put other people first and that taking time for yourself was selfish. Whatever the message, the real danger lies in not questioning these influences. Part of adult development requires us to reflect upon the values and standards we live by, to assess whether the way we are managing our lives is more of a cost than a benefit to our well-being.

This article may run counter to what many believe is a dangerous and growing trend toward too much self-absorption, too much of “The Me Generation” gone amok. Although it is true that we have seen evidence of an increase in self-centeredness and a decrease in generosity, I find that this is only half of the story. What is equally true is that we have seen an increase in the pressure to perform both in adults and in children. We work longer, have less free time to relax, the pace of life has increased, and we have an inflated, even grandiose expectation of what it means to be successful.

What would happen if an internal shift began to occur? What would it feel like to hold ourselves with a gentle hand? What if we were able to tell ourselves that rest isn’t something that has to be earned? What if we began thinking about self care as a spiritual responsibility? What if we thought about any decision we made by asking ourselves whether this is helping us take better care of our souls?

Patricia Gianotti, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Woodland Professional Associates, has an expertise in couples and individual therapy; she also leads seminars, workshops, and retreats on topics that focus on ways of bringing a sense of spirituality more into daily living.

Labels: forgiveness, Patricia Gianotti, self-care, spirituality

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dalai Lama describes himself as 'just one monk'

Fri, Jul. 18, 2008

By David O'Reilly
INQUIRER STAFF WRITER

The most famous Buddhist in the world insists he is "nothing special."

"I am just an ordinary human being," the Dalai Lama, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism, said yesterday, one day after his daylong visit to Philadelphia.

Some people think of him "as a living Buddha," he said, and laughed. "Nonsense."

Others revere him as "a god-king."

"Nonsense," he said again, this time leaning his head back as he laughed.

"Then some describe me as a demon, or a wolf with a Buddhist robe. That also I think is nonsense.

"I am just one monk. That is all."

And that was how the 73-year-old Dalai Lama came across in an interview: spiritual, intelligent, extroverted, eager to make a personal connection, and, above all, happy.

He claps you on the shoulder to make a point. He leans forward to listen to a question, looking right into your eyes. He turns serious, then breaks out in a broad smile that just may explode into a belly laugh.

"Talking with people" and engaging with others as "human brothers and sisters" is what makes him happy, the Dalai Lama said, sitting in a chair in his room at the Four Seasons.

And when he hears that his teachings have changed a life and made a person happier, "I feel my life becomes something purposeful."

In person he seems not to have a care in the world.

Yet this man in a simple gold and red robe has carried the troubles of Tibet on his bare shoulders since he was a small boy.

In 1937, when he was just 2, a delegation of senior monks arrived at his parents' farm and pronounced him the 14th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama: head of state for all Tibet and spiritual leader of all the millions of Buddhists in his country as well as Nepal, Mongolia, Bhutan, northern India, and the rest of the high Himalayas.

He might have lived a life of isolation, little known to the outside world, had not Communist China invaded the capital of his mountaintop nation in 1951.

The boy-king was just 16.

After eight years of fruitless accommodation with the Communists, whose troops demolished an estimated 6,000 monasteries in the hope of wiping out Buddhism, he fled on foot in the dead of winter to neighboring Nepal.

Later he moved to the northern India village of Dharamsala, where he and his followers built the monastery complex that serves as his home and headquarters of the Tibetan government in exile.

By force of his personality and spirituality, he as grown from a minor Cold War figure to someone akin to pope of the world's Buddhists, and the face of Eastern spirituality to many in the West.

In 1989 he won the Nobel Peace Prize, and still leads the struggle to regain Tibet's independence from China while circling the globe to lecture on tantric, or Tibetan, Buddhism.

He is "hopeful" and "optimistic" that the world will become a better place in the 21st century, he said, provided people promote the "inner values" of peace and compassion at the heart of Buddhism.

But he does not anticipate the West will turn Buddhist - a prospect that worried Pope Benedict XVI and other Christian leaders.

"I don't think so," the Dalai Lama said. "A few hundred thousand, even a few million," might convert. "But the majority will remain Christian, as it should be."

Some Buddhist practices, such as meditation, "can be used according to your own faith. . . . Already some Christian monks and Christian ministers are practicing Buddhist methods or techniques without changing their religion."

The goal for any human is to "minimize such emotions as fear, hatred," he said, and "try to increase love, compassion with forgiveness."

"On that level, I don't think there's much difference between Eastern or Western religion," he said.

He has turned over much of the administration of the Tibetan government-in-exile over to others, he said, and so is "semiretired" from that duty.

But as for the other two duties of the Dalai Lama - "promotion of human values and promotion of religious harmony . . . till my death I am committed."

Labels: Buddhism, compassion, Dalai Lama, David O'Reilly, forgiveness, love, religion, Tibet

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Monday, March 24, 2008

Forgiveness can be a rebirth

March 23, 2008

Act can free you from the pain that holds you captive, some say

By Cheryl Sherry
Post-Crescent staff writer

The Rev. Dottie Mathews never will erase memories of being abused by three close relatives beginning at age 13.

Nor can she forget the man she first saw as rescuer, who later perpetrated and compounded the abuse during their marriage. It was a time she describes as tragic and horrific, not only scarring her but also her three children.

Mathews has, however, chosen to forgive.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness, as defined by Webster, is the act of giving up the resentment held against an offender.

While forgiving someone who has done you wrong is essential to mental health, forgiveness can be a difficult thing for people who aren't clear about its purpose.

Carlos Herrera, Hispanic ministries coordinator at St. Therese Church in Appleton, points to Jesus' sacrifices, the ones being celebrated today by Christians, as a path toward finding forgiveness even in the most difficult of circumstances.

"If we forgive each other we are also part of the new power of love that the Lord risen has given us," Herrera said. "Therefore we will be apostles of the resurrection, with joy, hope and forgiveness."

Mathews' road to forgiving those who hurt her took more than 20 years and involved taking responsibility for her life.

"My healing involved years of counseling, diving into spiritual practices, shedding buckets of tears, borrowing hope and strength from a community of support when I became shaky — but with all that I trudged forward and moved toward accepting that my past will never not be my past," she said. "The only thing I had any control over was the future I might live."A skilled counselor helped Mathews know she did not bring those past events upon herself. "But that's what children do," she said. "When I realized I didn't make those things happen to me I remember that being very freeing."

Benefits of forgiveness

The need to forgive is often intertwined with other struggles in life, said family therapist Lynda Savage, owner and director of the Center for Family healing, a mental health outpatient clinic in Menasha. Savage also is founder and director of Practical Family Living, a nonprofit Web and radio Christian outreach.

"One needs to hear the person's genuine concern and hurt, anger and loneliness before you say forgiveness is part of your healing, a part of your adjustment, a part of your goal of getting through this," Savage said. "Forgiveness is a part of the process of understanding letting someone off the hook and no longer blaming lets you off the hook and become more free to get unstuck from their pain and hurt."

The practice of forgiveness not only has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress, it also leads to greater feelings of hope, compassion and self-confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships and physical health.

"Living in a state of un-forgiveness is living in a state of stress," Savage said. "And when you are living in a state of stress your body is emitting all kinds of things that we call hormones that are the fight or flight kind of hormones. …That type of stress is hard on your body, hard on your heart. … It's a physiological thing as well as a spiritual thing."

Acting out bitterness

In 2006, the Andrew Young School of Policy Studies at Georgia State University conducted a study on whether child abuse and child neglect caused crime. The findings suggested criminal behavior increases not only with the incidence of maltreatment but also with the severity of maltreatment. Until a child comes to terms with the experience, accepts it and learns to forgive the abuser for what they did, they will never be able to disassociate themselves from the experience.

Many of the troubled and at-risk teenage boys who live at Rawhide Boys Ranch south of New London have been hurt by life, said clinical supervisor Mark Tegtmeier. "They come out of some difficult family situations such as abuse, neglect, family conflict; there are a lot of addictions, a lot of blended family issues as well as many others."

Rawhide is a Christian-based organization that works to equip at-risk boys to become responsible young men through family-centered care, treatment and education. Therapeutic treatment addresses their emotional needs.

Forgiveness, Tegtmeier said, is essentially wiping the debt clean. "You're saying that that person is released and you are letting go. It's a very freeing experience for those that do. A lot of the boys realize they can have peace in their hearts and they can stop feeling revenge or retaliation toward someone that's hurt them. It's a tremendous feeling of release and just a liberation that they experience."

A softer side

There is no universe in which Mathews' abuse or the suffering of others is acceptable, "but it is up to me to say I don't have to carry it around anymore," she said. "I don't have to be identified as their victim anymore. But it took me a lot of years and a lot of tears and a lot of counseling and enormous love for my children, which was the motivator.

"There's a Buddhist writer, Pema Chodron, who says when you can touch the center of your sorrow and let it soften you then can be useful in helping to heal the world. Don't hide from it. Don't deny that it happened, but really go there and touch it and realize this is the truth and allow it to soften you.

Forgiveness, Mathews said, is "acknowledging my past will never not be my past, so tomorrow I can move on. And that one I can do something about."

Labels: Cheryl Sherry, Dottie Mathews, forgiveness

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The road to forgiveness

A new documentary looks at how and when people choose to forgive

By LAURA LLOYD

Filmmaker Martin Doblemeier believes that forgiveness can transform the world. His new documentary, “The Power of Forgiveness,” which will be shown on public television stations beginning in March, explores that idea through interviews with people who have forgiven those who injured them.

Being able to let go of the bitterness that follows being hurt isn’t always easy, of course, whether for individuals or for nations. The difficulty in doing so is demonstrated powerfully on the film’s Web site, where Mr. Doblemeier recently posed a question, “How do you feel about a Garden of Forgiveness at Ground Zero?” Such a garden has been suggested by a New York City Episcopal priest, Mr. Doblemeier said.

“In 10 days we had 6,000 hits,” Mr. Doblemeier said. “Of the respondents, 97 percent said no to a Garden of Forgiveness and 3 percent said yes. Now, most of the people who go our Web site might be called progressive tree-huggers, faith-in-the-world types. Yet, they were not in favor of a Garden of Forgiveness.”

Mr. Doblemeier said America is “an angry culture, angry on the highways, angry in the movies. We’re a nation of people who are deeply hurt.” Still, in making his film he was able to find a wide array of people here and abroad who are making creative efforts to foster forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is a decision,” Mr. Doblemeier said. In other words, people don’t have to wait until they feel like forgiving to do so.

A Roman Catholic, Mr. Doblemeier is a veteran maker of documentaries with spiritual themes. The 25 movies he’s produced and directed include “Bonhoeffer,” a documentary about the well-known German pastor who resisted the Nazis, and “Final Blessing,” a film about the spiritual issues of the terminally ill. He decided to explore the topic of forgiveness in a variety of faith traditions and from a scientific perspective as well. He found out that almost all religions teach the importance of forgiveness, and some, like the Amish, make it a cornerstone of their faith. He also found that scientists are discovering that the ability to forgive can confer health benefits such as lower blood pressure and better cardiovascular health.

Forgiveness “is a wonderful virtue in itself and it’s also good for our health,” Mr. Doblemeier said.

He is happy that acts of forgiveness have health benefits, but he places greater value on the idea that corporate forgiveness can lead to a “transformation of the world.” His film focuses on such transforming acts as a school program in Northern Ireland that nurtures nonjudgmental attitudes between Catholics and Protestants and efforts to foster reconciliation between Germans and Jews affected by the Holocaust. These acts, he thinks, have the most power.

“Jesus, when he was on the cross and said, ‘Forgive them, they know not what they do,’ wasn’t forgiving because it was good for his health,” Mr. Doblemeier said.

Mr. Doblemeier left out of his film some stunning acts of forgiveness. They include the story of South Africa, where Archbishop Desmond Tutu counseled forgiveness of the white minority that had viciously oppressed the black population, and Pope John Paul II’s forgiveness of his unsuccessful assassin and his request for forgiveness from the Jewish people. For centuries, Jews had been persecuted and discriminated against by the Catholic world.

“The Power of Forgiveness” is already being used as a teaching tool. Susan Hendricks, a social worker who leads a group of women in the maximum security Camille Griffin Graham Correctional Institution in Columbia, S.C., has used parts of “The Power of Forgiveness” to encourage discussion about forgiveness -- both of the self and of others. “This film is so important,” she said. “It demonstrates to the women through stories how to forgive themselves and how to forgive others. A lot of them don’t recognize this, that a lot of times you have to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.”

Journey Films, Mr. Doblemeier’s production company, took “The Power of Forgiveness” to 25 special screenings in 2007, including one at a theater in Blacksburg, Va., the home of Virginia Tech, where a student gunned down 32 persons before killing himself, and another at the United Nations. The upcoming broadcast on PBS of “The Power of Forgiveness” is part of a strategy designed to spark conversations at both a national and local level about the ability of forgiveness to alleviate anger and grief. Groups who want to use study material for teaching “The Power of Forgiveness” can download them from the film’s Web site at www.journeyfilms.com.

Mr. Doblemeier, who has been present at many of the screenings of the film, often in churches or synagogues, is optimistic that “The Power of Forgiveness” will have a continuing impact on people’s lives through workshops and seminars. He has noticed that after the film is shown, people frequently come forward to talk to him. Sometimes they reveal they have been living with guilt and are in need of forgiveness themselves.

“I like the idea that the movie shows it is possible to have a positive resolution to a problem and for people to see others who are able to help,” Mr. Doblemeier said.

Laura Lloyd is a Kansas City, Mo., freelance writer.

Labels: anger, documentary, forgiveness, health, Journey Films, Laura Lloyd, Martin Doblemeier

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Forgiveness has God on its side: study

February 12, 2008

Psychologists at RMIT University in Melbourne interviewed people of Christian, Jewish and Muslim faith and compared them to Australians who were non-believers or who had new-age beliefs.

They found that people affiliated with the more traditional religions had a greater tendency to forgive and let go of past wrongs.

But they found that spirituality in the broadest sense, that is belief in any type of higher being, was the strongest predictor of whether you were forgiving or not.

"The results showed that it doesn't matter what you believe in, but if you believe in something, have faith in something, it means you're more likely to forgive," said researcher Adam Fox, who led the study overseen by professor of psychology Trang Thomas.

"That indicates that there's something in the system of thought connected to spirituality that helps people to accept others and their actions."

The researchers were unable to compare individual religions due to "ethical considerations", but said there was only "slight differences" between each.

A number of recent international studies have linked religious worship to lower rates of depression, improved physical health and a longer life span.

This latest study, based on an internet survey of 475 adults, was one of the first to show how faith can improve behaviour, Mr Fox said.

He said the finding was positive given that religions were commonly blamed as a source of much violence in the world.

"We are all aware that religion causes conflict, but it is heartening to see that it also has the ability to reduce conflict and animosity too," the researcher said.

Labels: Australia, faith, forgiveness, religion, spirituality

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Is forgiveness divine for body?

Researchers note possible health benefits for people who absolve wrongdoers, but others express skepticism

By Melissa Healy
January 3, 2008

Forgiveness - a virtue embraced by almost every religious tradition as a balm for the soul - may be medicine for the body, researchers suggest. In less than a decade, those preaching and studying forgiveness have amassed an impressive slate of findings on its possible health benefits.

They have shown that "forgiveness interventions" - often just a couple of short sessions in which the wounded are guided toward positive feelings for an offender - can improve cardiovascular function, diminish chronic pain, relieve depression and boost quality of life among the very ill.

Like proper nutrition and exercise, forgiveness appears to be a behavior that a patient can learn, exercise and repeat as needed to prevent disease and preserve health.

Psychologist Loren Toussaint of Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, and colleagues were the first to establish a long-term link between people's health and their propensity to forgive.

Their national survey, published in the Journal of Adult Development in 2001, found forgiveness rare enough: Only 52 percent of Americans said they had forgiven others for hurtful acts. But willingness of young respondents to forgive showed no link to health; that propensity began to make a difference as respondents approached middle age. The survey found that those 45 and older who forgave others were more likely to report having better overall mental and physical health than those who did not.

Efforts to put forgiveness to a rigorous scientific test have been funded largely by a pair of philanthropies long associated with research on faith, religion and science: the Michigan-based Fetzer Foundation and the John Templeton Foundation of Pennsylvania, which effectively created the field in 1997 with a pledge of $2 million for research on forgiveness.

These origins raise discomfort and controversy among both scientists and those who help the physically and mentally wounded heal.

To many in mental health who fear that traumatized patients face pressure to forgive when doing so is premature or ill-advised, the new science of forgiveness is deeply worrisome.

"The whole Christian, 12-step mentality has permeated our culture, and the emphasis on forgiveness is part of that," says Jeanne Safer, a New York psychoanalyst and author of Must We Forgive? "For many patients, forgiveness is a double-whammy: First someone [hurts] you, and then it's your fault you don't want to embrace them in heaven. I'm not against forgiveness; I'm against compulsory forgiveness with no choice. And I'm against 'forgiveness lite,' which keeps you from feeling the intensity of the experience, from deeply grappling with what's been done to you."

Clinicians skeptical of forgiveness as a necessary endpoint of therapy say many of those who are quickest to forgive others do so because they blame themselves for the bad things that have happened to them. Others forgive too quickly because they are unwilling to acknowledge their general feelings of shame and anger or simply because they feel unworthy of better treatment.

Safer calls this "fake forgiveness." It allows victims to continue blaming themselves, she says. And it's a dangerous side effect of what Safer sees as a bid to sell forgiveness as a panacea.

Jeffrey R., a Maryland man whose father sexually molested him and three siblings as children, acknowledges that self-blame and denial after the abuse has exacted a terrible cost on his family. The Sun does not report the names of sex abuse victims.

After nine suicide attempts and decades of contending with crippling temper and suspicion toward others, Jeffrey says he's not ready to forgive the father who did it, the mother who looked the other way or the aunts and uncles who, after the abuse came to light, refused to discuss it. His sister, who was raped by her father at 5, has embraced forgiveness, says Jeffrey, telling her brother God will judge their father. Jeffrey says he's let go of the anger and bitterness caused by his abuse, and it "has saved my life."

But forgiveness on the same level as his sister's? "I'm not really there yet," he says.

Labels: Fetzer Foundation, forgiveness, health, John Templeton Foundation, Loren Toussaint, Melissa Healy

Permalink | Link to External Source Article

Friday, October 12, 2007

Are social virtues linked to faith?

In today's Post, feature writer Charles Lewis writes about a new survey by University of Lethbridge sociologist Reginald Bibby that shows that religious believers are more likely to place a higher value on virtues such as friendship, courtesy and patience.

Professor Bibby argues its because religion is good at spreading and exposing many of these values and as society turns away from religion many of these values aren't being spread. The possible effects on society could be quite negative:

While both religious and atheist alike agree that honesty is important, 94% for the church/temple/mosque-set and 89% for non-believer, only 52% of atheists feel that forgiveness is an important virtue. In contrast, 84% of religious people surveyed felt that 'turning the other cheek' was important.

"Look at the culture as a whole and ask yourself: To what extent do we value forgiveness against themes like zero-tolerance? We don't talk very much about what we're going to do for people who fall through the cracks. So I think forgiveness is pretty foreign to a lot of people if they're not involved in religious groups."

Still, Professor Bibby, doesn't think that we should take complete stock in numbers. People can lie when answering survey questions and at the end of the day there are plenty of examples on both sides of the religious divide that dispels the stereotypes.

Labels: Charles Lewis, forgiveness, Reginald Bibby, religion, virtue