TruthBook Religious News Blog

Scots writer’s play sheds light on a troubled but devoted relationship
By Mike Merrit

A LEADING Scottish playwright has produced a new twist on the life of Charles Darwin: the evolution of the relationship between the scientist and his wife, Emma.

It seems their marriage survived largely by avoiding the issue of religion. While Charles lost his faith, his devoted wife remained a committed Christian.

Now, in the bicentenary of the scientist's birth, Caithness-based writer Murray Watts, who wrote the screenplay for the film The Miracle Maker, will show that love really did conquer all in the Darwins' marriage. The couple hardly spent a day apart in more than 42 years of marriage.

Even in marriage Darwin was ever the scientist. Used to jotting down daily notes on animal breeding, he scrawled rambling thoughts - one with columns headed "Marry" and "Not Marry". Advantages included "constant companion and a friend in old age better than a dog anyhow" against points such as "less money for books" and "terrible loss of time".

In his play, entitled Mr Darwin's Tree, Watts show that despite their religious differences the couple's relationship survived on a deep love.

Emma was part of the Wedgwood pottery family and was Charles's first cousin. The couple had 10 children but lost two girls and a boy.

Emma grew up belonging to the Unitarian Church. For a time in her youth she was sent to Paris, where she studied piano with the celebrated composer Frédéric Chopin, and conducted a grand tour of Europe.

The naturalist frequently lamented his own lack of musical skills, which seemed to heighten his admiration of Emma's playing. In The Descent of Man, Darwin wrote: "I conclude that musical notes and rhythm were first acquired by the male or female progenitors of mankind for the sake of charming the opposite sex."

Emma was with her family when they helped Darwin overturn his father's objections to the voyage of the Beagle, which sparked his evolution theory.

She accepted Charles's marriage proposal in 1838, at the age of 30, and they were married the following year.

But a source of difficulty in the Darwins' marriage was the inevitable conflict between Charles's scientific findings and Emma's own devout Christian beliefs.

The tension was increased when, following the death of their daughter Anne at the age of 10, Charles no longer accepted the orthodox Christian view of God. After the biologist TH Huxley coined the word "agnostic" around 1868, Darwin used it to describe himself.

Now in Mr Darwin's Tree - which will star TV actor Andrew Harrison - Watts hopes to show that Emma was in many ways her husband's opposite.

"Charles's father told him not to confide his doubts about faith to his wife. He felt it would cause trouble in the marriage," said Watts.

"But Charles told Emma that he had misgivings. The truth is that he did not have that much faith to lose, despite him at one-time contemplating life as a clergyman.

"People forget that some of Charles's greatest supporters were leading Christians of the time.

"Emma even wrote a letter to Charles to avoid confrontation. When he was ill she would leave a letter on his pillow. She thought he had not faced the chain of difficulties on the other side'.

"For Charles, God and faith were a series of propositions that he could knock on the head. So the couple did not talk about faith much. Emma felt there would be a painful void between them if they did. Their marriage survived by avoiding the issue of faith.

"But she did tell him, I wish you could have my faith and the perfect peace of Christ.' Emma was totally supportive of Charles in every way. She made sure she did not judge him.

"Love came first in their relationship, not faith."

Labels: Charles Darwin, marriage, Mike Merrit, Mr Darwin's Tree, theater

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Interfaith Couples More Common

02/11/2009

According to the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey from the Pew Forum, 27 percent of Americans are married or cohabitating with a spouse or partner who is of a different faith background.

If people of different Protestant denominations are included, such as a Lutheran married to a Methodist, the number swells to 37 percent.

Those most likely to marry or live with someone of a different belief are nonbelievers (65 percent) and Buddhists (55 percent). Those least likely are Hindus (10 percent), Mormons (17 percent) and Catholics (22 percent).

Labels: belief, faith, marriage, Pew survey, religion, spouse

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Why We're Happy

By Arthur C. Brooks
Posted: Monday, June 16, 2008

According to hundreds of reliable surveys of thousands of people across the land, happy people increase our prosperity and strengthen our communities.

But today's leaders and policymakers seem to have forgotten this. To hear politicians talk about gross domestic product, health-care reform, and Social Security, you'd think that this nation's Founding Fathers held as self-evident that we are endowed by our Creator with the ability to purchase new, high-quality consumer durables each and every year, or to enjoy healthy economic growth with low inflation and full employment. The Founders didn't talk about these matters, not because they're unimportant, but because they believed happiness went deeper.

As a professor of business and government policy, I've long been interested in the pursuit of happiness as a national concept. According to hundreds of reliable surveys of thousands of people across the land, happy people increase our prosperity and strengthen our communities. They make better citizens--and better citizens are vital to making our nation healthy and strong. Happiness, in other words, is important for America. So when I chanced upon data a couple of years ago saying that certain Americans were living in a manner that facilitated happiness--while others were not--I jumped on it.

First, just what is happiness? Most researchers agree that it involves an assessment of the good and bad in our lives. It's the emotional balance sheet we keep that allows us to say honestly whether we're living a happy life, in spite of bad things now and then.

You might suspect that Americans are getting happier all the time. After all, many (though clearly not all) are getting richer, and this should make them better able and equipped to follow their dreams. On the other hand, there's a lot of talk about the good old days, when kids could play outside without any worry about being kidnapped. And there's a great deal of stress in this country right now, due to financial concerns, negative workplace environments, and chronic health problems, among other pressing issues.

But average happiness levels in America have stayed largely constant for many years. In 1972, 30 percent of the population said they were very happy with their lives, according to the National Opinion Research Center's General Social Survey. In 1982, 31 percent said so, and in 2006, 31 percent said so as well. The percentage saying they were not too happy was similarly constant, generally hovering around 13 percent.

The factors that add up to a happy life for most people are not what we typically hear about. Things like winning the lottery, getting liposuction, and earning a master's degree don't make people happy over the long haul. Rather, the key to happiness, and the difference between happy and unhappy Americans, is a life that reflects values and practices like faith, hard work, marriage, charity, and freedom.

Happiness Predictor 1: Faith

Roughly 85 percent of Americans identify with a religion, and about a third of Americans attend a house of worship every week or more. These statistics have changed relatively little over the decades. By international standards, America's level of religious practice is exceptionally high. In Holland, for example, just 9 percent of the population attends church on a regular basis; in France, it's 7 percent; in Latvia, 3 percent.

In general, religious Americans (those who attend a place of worship almost every week or more) are happier than those who rarely or never attend. In 2004 the General Social Survey found that 43 percent of religious folks said they were very happy with their lives, compared with 23 percent of secularists. Religious people were a third more likely than secularists to say they're optimistic about the future. And secularists were nearly twice as likely as religious people to say "I'm inclined to feel I'm a failure."

The connection between faith and happiness holds regardless of one's religion. All nonpartisan surveys on the subject have found that Christians (Protestants, Catholics, Mormons, and others) and Jews, as well as members of many other religious traditions, are far more likely than secularists to say they're happy. It also doesn't matter if we measure religious practice in ways other than attendance at worship services. In 2004, 36 percent of people who prayed every day said they were very happy, versus 21 percent of people who never prayed.

Of course, not every religious person is happy; neither is every secularist unhappy. Nonetheless, it's clear that faith is a common value among happy Americans.

Happiness Predictor 2: Work

If you hit the lottery today, would you quit your job? If you're like most Americans, you probably wouldn't. When more than 1,000 people across the country were asked in 2002, "If you were to get enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life, would you stop working?" fewer than a third of the respondents answered yes.

Contrary to widely held opinion, most Americans like or even love their work. In 2002 an amazing 89 percent of workers said they were very satisfied or somewhat satisfied with their jobs. This isn't true just for those with high-paying, highly skilled jobs but for all workers across the board. And the percentage is almost exactly the same among those with and without college degrees and among those working for private companies, nonprofit organizations, and the government.

For most Americans, job satisfaction is nearly equivalent to life satisfaction. Among those people who say they are very happy in their lives, 95 percent are also satisfied with their jobs. Furthermore, job satisfaction would seem to be causing overall happiness, not the other way around.

Happiness Predictor 3: Marriage & Family

In 2004, 42 percent of married Americans said they were very happy. Just 23 percent of never-married people said this. The happiness numbers were even lower for other groups: Only 20 percent of those who were widowed, 17 percent of those who were divorced, and 11 percent of those who were separated but not divorced said they were happy. Overall, married people were six times more likely to say that they were very happy than to report that they were not too happy. And generally speaking, married women say they're happy more often than married men.

Marriage isn't just associated with happiness--it brings happiness, at least for a lot of us. One 2003 study that followed 24,000 people for more than a decade documented a significant increase in happiness after people married. For some, the happiness increase wore off in a few years, and they ended up back at their premarriage happiness levels. But for others, it lasted as long as a lifetime.

What about having kids? While children, on their own, don't appear to raise the happiness level (they actually tend to slightly lower the happiness of a marriage), studies suggest that children are almost always part of an overall lifestyle of happiness, which is likely to include such things as marriage and religion. Consider this: While 50 percent of married people of faith who have children consider themselves to be very happy, only 17 percent of nonreligious, unmarried people without kids feel the same way.

Happiness Predictor 4: Charity

We've all heard that money doesn't buy happiness, and that's certainly true. But there is one way to get it: Give money away.

People who give money to charity are 43 percent more likely than nongivers to say they're very happy. Volunteers are 42 percent more likely to be very happy than nonvolunteers. It doesn't matter whether the gifts of money go to churches or symphony orchestras; religious giving and secular giving leave people equally happy, and far happier than people who don't give. Even donating blood, an especially personal kind of giving, improves our attitude.

In essence, the more people give, the happier they get.

Happiness Predictor 5: Freedom

The Founders listed liberty right up there with the pursuit of happiness as an objective that merited a struggle for our national independence. In fact, freedom and happiness are intimately related: People who consider themselves free are a lot happier than those who don't. In 2000 the General Social Survey revealed that people who personally feel "completely free" or "very free" were twice as likely as those who don't to say they're very happy about their lives.

Not all types of freedom are the same in terms of happiness, however. Researchers have shown that economic freedom brings happiness, as does political and religious freedom. On the other hand, moral freedom--a lack of constraints on behavior--does not. People who feel they have unlimited moral choices in their lives when it comes to matters of sex or drugs, for example, tend to be unhappier than those who do not feel they have so many choices in life.

Americans appear to understand this quite well. When pollsters asked voters in the 2004 Presidential election what the most important issue facing America was, the issue voters chose above all others was "moral values." This beat out the economy, terrorism, the Iraq war, education, and health care as people's primary concern. Pundits and politicians would certainly like us to think otherwise, and critics scoffed at the conclusion, interpreting it as evidence that ordinary Americans were out of touch. But moral values are critical to Americans. This suggests that, as a people, we do best by protecting our political and economic freedoms and guarding against a culture that sanctions licentiousness.

Lessons for America

The data tell us that what matters most for happiness is not having a lot of things but having healthy values. Without these values, our jobs and our economy will bring us soulless toil and joyless riches. Our education will teach us nothing. There will be no reason to fight--or to make peace, for that matter--to protect our way of life. Our health-care system will keep us healthier, but what's the point of good health without a happy life to enjoy?

The facts can help remind us of what we should be paying attention to, as individuals and as families, if we want to be happy. There's also an important message here for public policy and politics. We must hold our leaders accountable for the facts on happiness and refuse to take it lightly when politicians abridge the values of faith, work, family, charity, and freedom. Candidates running for office should be grilled about happiness in debates and by the press, and their answers should determine our votes.

Our happiness is simply too important to us--and to America--to do anything less.

Arthur C. Brooks is a visiting scholar at AEI. He is the author of Gross National Happiness (Basic Books, 2008).

Labels: Arthur C. Brooks, charity, faith, family, freedom, happiness, marriage, values, work

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

People in loving relationships are healthier

by The Times-Picayune
Tuesday February 12, 2008,
Chris Bynum
Staff writer

There's plenty of proof that love is good for your health. But even if Valentine's Day suggests that a direct hit with Cupid's arrow is required, health experts say that love's physiological benefits are not limited to heady romance and passionate highs.

"When I say love, I mean a deep emotional connection as opposed to being in love, " says Dr. Mark Liponis, medical director of Canyon Ranch in Lenox, Mass., and author of "Ultra-Longevity" (Little, Brown and Company, $25.99). "You can have a really deep emotional connection with friends, hobbies, children, pets, nature. We are social creatures. We have found that social interaction improves outcome."

Liponis points out one of the reasons people form or join support groups is to dissolve "negative emotions like anger, despair and anxiety." Such negativity, he says, can impact health adversely, elevating our levels of C-reactive protein, which weakens the immune system.

Love has been measured in blood tests, stress levels and psychological responses as scientists seek to measure love's impact on wellness. A Center for Disease Control and Prevention 2004 study indicated that married adults are less likely to be smokers or heavy drinkers and less likely to have sexually transmitted diseases. The same study concluded that a healthy marriage contains built-in stress reducers -- combined incomes translating to greater wealth over a lifetime, friends and family from both spouses serving as a ready support group, and a tendency toward more responsible behaviors.

Those who have experienced happy unions can attest to the intangibles that statistics don't always communicate. Local lawyer Orr Adams is one of those who has seen the benefits of a 22-year marriage.

"There's one obvious benefit: You have a partner to do things with, whether it's health-related, raising kids, working on the house, or learning to sail. Having someone there makes it more likely that you will do something and pursue it, " says Adams. "Some people are not shy at all, and they are willing to do things with people they don't know. But if you have a friend or spouse who will go with you, you get involved, and you stay involved."

Adams believes that stability is an important side effect of marriage, and that in turn has a positive effect on his overall quality of life.

"I am very much a creature of habit, and when I am in my comfort zone, I have more peace of mind and can go through the day with a greater sense of optimism, " he says.

Sean Johnson, founder of Wild Lotus Yoga Studio, has been conducting couples yoga classes for more than eight years. His observations corroborate what studies show.

"What I have witnessed in couples who have a healthy, loving relationship is that the love that exists in partnership radiates outward, illuminating other areas of life -- generating a positive, passionate and creative energy that is contagious, " he says. "What I see in these couples is that their love for each other gives them even more incentive to love and take good care of themselves individually."

Johnson says the value couples place on their relationship often translates into healthier spiritual, emotional and physical habits out of respect for their partners. "Partners believe in and support each other and are invested in each other's well-being."

There is, however, one documented negative health risk -- obesity -- that is greater among married people than singles.

The term "married" carries weight in other aspects of health.

"Those who live together may enjoy temporary health benefits, but they may not reap as high a benefit as those who take the plunge (and marry), " says Jack, citing the results of the CDC study.

While no one can dispute that unhealthy marriages carry negative side effects from stress to depression, there are some telltale signs early on as to how to steer the marriage in a healthy direction.

While Valentine's Day might feel like a doomsday barometer for singles who are currently not dating, Jack says the holiday should be put in its proper perspective.

"It's not a personal thing; it's a commercial holiday, " Jack says. "It's an opportunity for those in a relationship to recommit, but it is not a day for single people to beat up on themselves about past relationships. It is an opportunity to appreciate where they are in their journey."

Liponis sees love as much as an action as a feeling, an action that he says can be expressed multiple ways throughout the day. He suggests becoming an advocate -- putting any strong feelings of love or compassion in a positive direction, "whether it's animals, the environment or politics."

Working for your cause, whether as an advocate leading the charge or a volunteer living a passion, he says, is not only an expression of love, but provides a logical place to find a soul mate.

Labels: Chris Bynum, health, love, marriage, relationship, Valentines Day

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Bi-religious couples overcome differences in opinion, open to making contrasts work

Tangled up in love

Published Thursday, November 8, 2007.

Amanda Wilcosky / Staff Writer

Approximately 28 million U.S. couples that are married or in domestic partnerships live in mixed-religion homes, according to the American Religious Identification Survey done in 2001 by The City University of New York. This is nearly a quarter of all marriages or domestic partnerships.

While many couples make their relationship work, maintaining a bi-religious relationship can be difficult.

According to a May 2006 study by Scott M. Myers published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married partners that share the same religious background report greater marital quality than do bi-religious partners.

The ability of partners to triumph over religious differences can depend on their faiths.

Labels: Amanda Wilcosky, American Religious Identification Survey, bi-religious, faith, Journal of Marriage and Family, marriage, religion, US couples

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

UF study: Men more traditional than women about marriage, children

October 24, 2007.
GAINESVILLE, Fla.

Women view childlessness much more favorably than men do, likely because parenting places greater demands on mothers, especially those juggling work and family responsibilities, a new University of Florida study finds.

Parenthood has very different consequences for women compared with men, said Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, a UF sociologist whose study is published in the November issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.

The study also found women to be less optimistic about the benefits and permanence of marriage. Women were more likely than men to disagree or give neutral responses to such statements as “it is better to marry than to remain single” and “marriage is for life.”

“The results suggest that women regard both childbearing and marriage as being less central and more optional in women’s lives,” Koropeckyj-Cox said. “Because opportunities for women have changed more rapidly than they have for men over the last 30 years, and with it women’s lives, their attitudes may have also changed in ways that reflect new options and challenges. Women may be asking more questions about whether everyone needs to follow the same path.”

The study of 11,043 adults 25 and older uses data from the 1980s and mid-1990s that were part of two large-scale surveys, the National Survey of Families and Households and the General Social Survey. It assessed attitudes about childlessness by asking such questions as whether “it is better to have a child than to remain childless” and whether “the main purpose of marriage these days is to have children.”

The study found that white women were most accepting of childlessness, followed by black women. Men, regardless of race, were least accepting. Among whites, women were twice as likely as men to have favorable impressions.

The gap in attitudes was particularly wide between college-educated men and women of childbearing age, Koropeckyj-Cox said. Men in this group were the least accepting of childlessness of any group in the study, she said.

Positive attitudes toward childlessness also were greater among young and middle-aged adults. Within this age group, women were nearly 80 percent more likely than men to report favorable attitudes toward childlessness, the study found.

Among religious groups, the study found that Baptists and Jews were least likely to support childlessness, while fundamentalist Protestants and Catholics were not significantly different from other Protestants or those reporting no religion.

Receptiveness to childlessness has increased since the 1970s, with Americans waiting longer to become parents, Koropeckyj-Cox said. The average age of first-time mothers is now over 25, and more than a quarter of adults remain childless into their 30s, she said.

Kathleen Gerson, a sociology professor at New York University and author of the book “Hard Choices: How Women Decide About Work, Career and Motherhood,” said Koropeckyj-Cox’s “important findings make it clear that changes in women’s lives are here to stay. While it may seem surprising that women view childlessness more favorably than men, her study should prompt us to jettison our lingering stereotypes and focus instead on helping contemporary women — and men — blend work with parenting.”

Labels: children, Journal of Marriage and Family, marriage, men, Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, University of Florida, women

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Fatherless Child

It is a unique cultural moment for the church to act like a family.

A Christianity Today editorial.
posted 10/09/2007 08:37AM

It's not remarkable to say our culture is confused when it comes to family. But the results of the recent Pew Research Center study on marriage and children are remarkable nonetheless.

The survey confirms that Christian notions about marriage and family are still an American ideal. The growth in births to unwed mothers is a "big problem," say 71 percent of Americans. They agree (69 percent) that children need both a mother and a father. Even as rates of births to unwed mothers have skyrocketed, this strong disapproval has held steady.

But the survey also notes that Americans are less able to live up to their ideals: Roughly 37 percent of births are to unwed mothers, and nearly half (47 percent) of adults have lived in cohabitating relationships.

"Marriage exerts less influence over how adults organize their lives and how children are born and raised than at any time in the nation's history," the survey says. Between 1960 and 2005, the rate of unwed childbearing increased sevenfold, from 5.3 percent of all births to 36.8 percent. The survey finds that the average unwed mother "is more likely to be white than black, and more likely to be an adult than a teenager. …" The survey attributes this "sharp increase in non-marital births" to "an ever greater percentage of women in the 20s, 30s, and older … delaying or forgoing marriage but having children."

For years, we have been preaching the supremacy of the two-parent family, offering classes and seminars for young couples and families. But the church is also caught up in an individualistic, ambitious culture, and we find it difficult to carve out time to offer ongoing, concrete help to single-parent families. We pray for them. We urge the parent to find a mate. But, to take the case above, it's hard to find a church that intentionally helps men of the church connect regularly with the children of single mothers. Would a "father program," on the order of Big Brothers and Sisters, be something the "family of God" might institute?

A single mother at Christianity Today International adopted two African American boys. Though she's given them extraordinary care and discipline, she has long felt that they desperately needed adult males in their lives. She says plainly that her church let her and her boys down in this regard. Only after one of the boys ended up in prison did the church's men rally around and enter this young man's life.

A dramatic example, but boys without father figures and girls without mother figures have a strike against them. The latest national study shows that more children than ever are entering the world with such strikes. It's an unprecedented cultural moment for Christians, to see if we can act less like individual consumers of spirituality and more like the family of God.

Labels: Christian, family, fathers, marriage, Pew Research Center survey, unwed mothers

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

God Is In The Details

The Washington Post summarized a new Pew Research Center survey that shows there are significant foundational shifts in Americans’ understanding of what constitutes marital happiness and success.

In a front-page story on Sunday, reporter Donna St. George looked at the most substantial attitudinal change over previous years:

Children rank as the highest source of personal fulfillment for their parents but have dropped to one of the least-cited factors in a successful marriage, according to a national survey to be released today.

In a study that shows how separately marriage and children are viewed, Americans expressed great passion for their sons and daughters but clearly did not see them as the glue of their adult relationships.

On a list of nine contributors to success in marriage, children were trumped by faithfulness, a happy sexual relationship, household chore-sharing, economic factors such as adequate income and good housing, common religious beliefs, and shared tastes and interests, the nonprofit Pew Research Center found.

The article is very interesting and shows just how rapidly Americans are separating sex, marriage and children. As you might expect — along with a reader who passed along the story — there are some dramatic religious ghosts lurking inbetween the paragraphs of this story.

You’re probably not as nerdy as I am, by which I mean I like to read every survey, Supreme Court opinion and piece of legislation I can get my hands on. So you may not want to read the 91-page report [PDF] on which St. George wrote her story. But if you did, you would find that religious differences correlate with major differences of opinion recorded in the survey.

White evangelical Protestants and people of all faiths who attend religious services at least weekly hold more conservative viewpoints on pretty much the whole gamut of questions asked on the Pew survey. This is true across all age groups. For example, white evangelical Protestants are more likely than other religious groups to consider premarital sex morally wrong.

They are more likely to consider the rise in unmarried childbearing and cohabitation bad for society and more likely to agree that a child needs both a mother and father to be happy. They also are more likely to say legal marriage is very important when a couple plans to have children together or plans to spend the rest of their lives together. Further, white evangelical Protestants are more likely than white mainline Protestants to say that divorce should be avoided except in extreme circumstances and to consider it better for the children when parents remain married, though very unhappy with each other. In sum, white evangelical Protestants have a strong belief in the importance of marriage and strong moral prescriptions against premarital sex and childbearing outside of marriage.

The pattern is the same among those of any faith who attend religious services more frequently, compared with less frequent attendees.

Another interesting division in the survey was between white evangelicals and white mainline Protestants. Seventy-three percent of evangelicals consider it important for couples to legally marry compared with only 35 percent of white mainline Protestants, 43 percent of Roman Catholics and 20 percent of seculars. Of those who attend church more regularly, 69 percent say marriage is very important compared with 36 percent of the less religious and 27 percent of those who never or almost never attend church services.

The Pew report tried to paint a picture of people with traditional marriage views and, again not surprisingly, the religious angle appears:

Compared with other parents, they’re more likely to be white, well-educated and well-off economically. They also have a distinctive religious profile. They are more likely to be Catholic (32% vs. 21%) than other parents. They also are more observant; some 47% attend church weekly or more often compared with 38% of other parents. Politically, they’re more inclined to be Republican than other parents, and, ideologically, they’re more inclined to be conservative.
A majority are happy with their lives — some 55% report being “very satisfied” with their lives overall, compared with just 40% of the rest of the population.

That last sentence is interesting. The headline for the Washington Post story is “To Be Happy In Marriage, Baby Carriage Not Required.” That headline may be eyecatching for the aging baby boomers who make up the paper’s audience, but I’m not sure it’s quite right.

Stories about surveys tend to have a very short shelf life, but perhaps other reports will look into some of the religious ghosts.

Labels: children, Donna St. George, evangelicals, happiness, marriage, Pew Research Center survey, protestants

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Friday, June 22, 2007

Marriage and Religion: a Package Deal

6/19/2007 - 5:45 AM PST

New Studies Reveal Close Relationship
By Father John Flynn, L.C.

ROME, JUNE 19, 2007 (Zenit) -

The fortunes of family life and religion may well be linked, say experts in recent studies. W. Bradford Wilcox, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, is the author of a research brief published in May by the Institute for American Values' Center for Marriage and Families.

"Churches are bulwarks of marriage in urban America," he affirmed in the brief "Religion, Race, and Relationships in Urban America." Wilcox started by observing that in spite of widespread concern over the breakdown of marriage and family life in contemporary society, so far little attention has been paid on religion's influence for the family.

His attempt to remedy this omission is based on a reading of data from the Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study (FFCW), sponsored by Columbia and Princeton Universities.
The dramatic changes in family structures are graphically illustrated by Wilcox.

-- From 1960 to 2000, the percentage of children born out of wedlock rose from 5% to 33%.
-- The divorce rate more than doubled to almost 50%.

-- The percentage of children living in single-parent families rosefrom 9% to 27%.

Poor and minority families have suffered even more. In 1996, for example, 35% of African American children and 64% of Latino children were living in married households, compared to 77% of white children.

Wilcox argued that religion can influence family life in four ways.

-- Religious institutions promote norms strengthening marriage, for example, the idea that sex and childbearing ought to be reserved for marriage, and broader moral norms that support happier, more stable marriages.

-- Religious faith endows the marital relationship with a sense of transcendence.

-- In many religious groups there are family-oriented social networks that offer emotional and social support, plus a measure of social control that reinforces commitment to the marital bond.

-- Religious belief and practice provides support to cope with stresses such as unemployment or the death of a loved one. A greater psychological resilience, in turn, is linked to higher quality marriages.

Paradox

Wilcox does, however, admit that religious participation is by no means an automatic guarantee of a happy family life. In fact, what he termed "one of the paradoxes of American religious life," is the contradiction between the high level of religious practice among African Americans -- the highest of any racial group -- and the reality that they have the lowest rate of marriage of any racial or ethnic group.

Turning to an analysis of the data from the FFCW survey, Wilcox argued that it shows how religious attendance -- particularly by fathers -- is associated with higher rates of marriage among urban parents.

Moreover, churchgoing boosts the odds of marriage for African American parents in urban America in much the same way it boosts the odds of marriage for urban parents from other racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Paternal church attendance is particularly important for urban relationships, Wilcox maintains. If a father goes to church regularly, then he is more likely to enter into marriage and also to have a relationship of higher quality.

Benefits of belief

The arguments raised by Wilcox are similar to those put forward by Patrick Fagan in a paper published by the Heritage Foundation last December. In "Why Religion Matters Even More: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability," Fagan argued that "religious practice promotes the well-being of individuals, families and the community."

Among other points, these studies reveal that:

-- Women who are more religious are less likely to experience divorce or separation than their less religious peers.

-- Marriages in which both spouses attend religious services frequently are 2.4 times less likely to end in divorce than marriages in which neither spouse worships.

-- Religious attendance is the most important predictor of marital stability, confirming studies conducted as far back as 50 years ago.

-- Couples who share the same faith are more likely to reunite if they separate than are couples who do not share the same religious affiliation.

Moreover, Fagan pointed out, religious practice is also related to a reduction in such negative behaviors as domestic abuse, crime, substance abuse and addiction.

Losing God

Mary Eberstadt looked at the other side of the coin in the relationship between family and religion in an article published in the June-July issue of the magazine Policy Review. In the article "How the West Really Lost God," she reflected on the causes of secularization, a phenomenon particularly notable in Western Europe.

The thesis often put forward, Eberstadt observed, is that secularism came first and that this had a negative impact on family life in Western Europe. She argued, however: "At least some of the time, the record suggests, they also became secular because they stopped having children and families."

In support of her case Eberstadt pointed out that European fertility in general dropped well before the dramatic demise of religious practice observed in recent decades. Within Europe she cited the example of France, which saw fertility decline much sooner than in many other European countries, and is also a nation where secularism is stronger.

Turning to the United States she commented that the higher level of religious practice could be due to the greater number of children.

Evangelicals and Mormons, who unlike Catholics are not prohibited from using contraceptives, also have larger families. Maybe, Eberstadt posited, there is something about the family that inclines people toward religiosity.

She then examined the dynamic that exists between family life and religion. The experience of birth leads parents to a moment of transcendence. As well, the practice of sacrificing oneself for the good of the family and children may lead people to go beyond selfish pleasure-seeking. In addition, the fear of death, in terms of losing a spouse or child is a powerful spur to faith.

As for the well-known fact that women tend to be more religious than men, maybe Eberstadt argued, this is due to their more intimate participation in the birth of their children compared to a man's role.

While fertility rates in Europe and many other countries are now very low, this could change as the disadvantages of single motherhood and the social and economic consequences of shrinking populations weigh more heavily.

The authors of the studies cited here would probably be the first to admit that the interaction between religion and the family is complicated and that many other factors play a part in the strengthening or weakening of both. No doubt more research is needed, but these initial efforts point to some interesting relationships.

The natural family, Ebserstadt concludes, "as a whole has been the human symphony through which God has historically been heard by many people." A symphony unfortunately marred by many discordant notes today, but whose return to harmony would be of immense benefit.

Labels: church, family, marriage, religion

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Guess What Troubles Young People The Most?

By Katherine Kersten, Star Tribune
Last update: May 06, 2007 – 8:27 PM

What issue most concerns young people today? A new survey from hip, racially diverse California -- home to 1 in 8 of the nation's youth -- provides a startling answer.

What does this generation of baggy pants-wearers and body piercers view as "the most pressing issue facing your generation in the world today"? Racism, environmental problems, the war in Iraq?

An answer closer to home tops the list: family breakdown. Pundits may find it fashionable to sneer at Ozzie and Harriet, but kids are longing for a harmonious home with mom and dad at the dinner table. Almost 90 percent of survey respondents expect to get married or enter into a life partnership and have children themselves.

The survey, titled "California Dreamers," assessed the hopes and fears of young people ages 16-22. Three-fifths of respondents were minorities, and half were immigrants or children of immigrants.

The survey was commissioned by New America Media, an association of over 700 ethnic media organizations.

"California Dreamers" revealed another surprise. Almost three-quarters of the young people questioned said that religion and spirituality are important to them. In this respect, California's new generation differs substantially from their parents. "Previous polls rank California as having the highest percentage of 'agnostic' adults in the United States," according to the report.

"California Dreamers" summarizes its findings this way: "The poll reveals a deep yearning among 16- to 22-year-olds for traditional structures - marriage, parenthood [and] religion."

Do Minnesota's young people share these yearnings? Absolutely, says the Rev. Efrem Smith of the Sanctuary Covenant Church, a multiethnic congregation in north Minneapolis. Smith has spent his life working with youth, and speaks nationally on the subject.

"This generation is deeply marred by family breakdown," he told me. Many young people are victims of our society's epidemic of out-of-wedlock childbearing and divorce, he says. Even children from intact families often feel neglected by busy or preoccupied parents.

"Kids understand that a strong, loving family is the core, the base, of what it takes to develop a moral compass, a sense of purpose, an identity," says Smith, even if many self-absorbed older folks have forgotten this inconvenient truth.

Smith's own parents never missed his football games or school talent shows, he says. So he first experienced young people's anger over family breakdown as a varsity basketball coach at Minneapolis' Roosevelt and Patrick Henry high schools, where a substantial number of kids are in poverty.

Smith sees a connection between kids' anxiety over abandonment and neglect, and their spiritual hunger. As a longtime youth worker, he says, he's convinced that "this void, this hole from having no moral compass or guidance at home, can only be filled spiritually."

Kids' interest in religion may seem surprising, given the debased popular culture they inhabit, and the fact that religious expression is frowned on in the public square. "But they're so hungry for love, for a sense of purpose, that they are very open to filling the void spiritually," says Smith.

"I've never seen a young person sold down the road to atheism," he adds. "That comes later in life."

"If you believe that you are beloved of God," Smith says, "that you are made in his image, it doesn't matter if you have two parents or one parent, or if you're being raised by your grandmother or by foster parents. You believe you're on Earth for a purpose, and you can make it."

Katherine Kersten • kkersten@startribune.com Join the conversation at my blog, Think Again, which can be found at www.startribune.com/thinkagain

Labels: family, Katherine Kerston, marriage, New America Media, parenthood, religion, spirituality, youth

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Oldest Americans More in Sync with Modern Times Than Many Think

Centenarians credit longevity to 'Faith' over genes, medical care

April 3, 2007 – Centenarians – those who have attained age 100 – are more in tune with current trends than many assume. One out of three has watched a TV reality show and almost that many have watched music videos, according to the second annual survey by Evercare. As was found in the first survey last year, the oldest Americans attribute their longevity to faith and spiritual care more than genes or medical care.

The second annual “Evercare 100 @ 100 Survey” polled one hundred Americans turning 100 and older this year about their practices and habits and found that, contrary to some conventional stereotypes, centenarians are staying in tune with the times.

Like the rest of Americans, they are following current trends like reality television, video games and iPods, worrying about health and diet, and keeping up on news and current events.

“As Americans strive for healthier, longer lives, the ‘Evercare 100 at 100 Survey’ provides us with a prescription for longevity from those who have aged successfully, and finds that tuning in to trends and current events, leading healthy lifestyles and holding faith and spirituality in high regard are key themes,” said Dr. John Mach, CEO of Evercare.

“We conduct this annual survey because Evercare is constantly striving towards a better understanding of the oldest Americans so that we may continue to provide the kind of care that keeps people healthy and independent for as long as possible.”

Evercare, one of the nation’s largest care coordination programs for people who have chronic or advanced illness, are older or have disabilities, first surveyed centenarians in 2006 to provide insight into one of the fastest-growing segments of the population.

Since Evercare serves more than 1,000 centenarians, the Company conducts this annual survey to better understand them so it can continue to anticipate their needs. The anecdotal survey is meant to provide a cultural snapshot of the lives and lifestyles of Americans who achieve and surpass the 100-year-old milestone by remaining active and independent.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are nearly 80,000 centenarians in the United States, and that number is projected to increase seven-fold, to 580,000, by 2040.

The survey found that two-thirds of centenarians are concentrated in just ten states. Twelve percent live in Texas, 11 percent in Ohio, 8 percent in New York, 7 percent in California and Michigan, 5 percent in Florida, and 4 percent each in Alabama, Minnesota, North Carolina and Pennsylvania.

Edith Jansky, an Evercare enrollee in Cambridge, MA, attributes her longevity to a positive outlook. “If you are happy you can live longer I think, and I am happy… To tell you the truth, I would not want to be anywhere else but here,” she said. “I have seen so much, I don’t think there would be much more that I could see or hear.”

Among the key findings of the 2007 “Evercare 100 @ 100 Survey”:

Keeping up with trends and current events.

? “I want my MTV.” When it comes to entertainment, the survey found that nearly a third (31 percent) have watched a reality TV show and 27 percent have watched MTV or music videos. Nearly a quarter of centenarians have purchased a music CD, and one in seven has played a video game.

? Sorry, Oprah, Johnny is still king. When polled on their favorite TV talk show host, Johnny Carson topped the list with 14 percent of the votes – more than double those for Oprah Winfrey (6 percent). But, one centenarian did say of Oprah, “I used to watch her every blessed day, I think she is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful person. I think she is very kind too. I think she does a lot for charity… that must be wonderful to have someone give you a beautiful new car [that] you didn’t have to work for.”

? Some centenarians have even tried the latest technology. Six percent said they have been on the Internet and four percent said they have listened to music on an iPod.

? Advertisers take note: Although 18- to 49-year olds may be a coveted demographic, sixty-eight percent of centenarians polled also turn to the TV for news and current events, while 40 percent turn to newspapers, a change from fifty years ago when newspapers (56 percent) and radio (45 percent) were their primary sources of news.

Maintaining the brain is important, and marriage makes for beautiful memories.

? Given the choice, centenarians voted for having a better memory (34 percent) over less aches and pains (27 percent) or taking fewer prescription drugs (13 percent). Their favorite memory in the last 100 years? Twenty-eight percent said their wedding day followed by a tie for the birth of a child and their 100th birthday (both at 13 percent).

One adventurous centenarian felt his best memory was “when I learned to fly at age 76.”

Answering to a higher power.

? Centenarians trust their spiritual leader the most to tell the truth, with more than one in three (34 percent) saying they believe a priest, rabbi or preacher is the person most likely to tell the truth when given a choice that included their doctor or nurse (28 percent) and a police officer (8 percent).

This trust in clergy echoes the results of last year’s survey, which revealed that the oldest Americans attribute their longevity to faith and spiritual care more than genes or medical care.

Labels: Centenarians, Evercare 100 at 100 Survey, faith, longevity, marriage, memories, spirituality, technology

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Scientists seek answers to mysteries of attraction

March 12, 2007

By SHERRY MIMS
Staff Writer

Asking what love is or how it works is like asking someone to define beauty or success: It's all subjective.

As science has progressed, however, researchers are trying to crack love's mysterious code and asking all sorts of questions about its mechanics. What is love, and why are some people luckier in love than others?

MR. OR MS. RIGHT

Larry and Sara Rugotzke of Daytona Beach Shores look to be the perfect specimen for scientists. Seen holding hands in Volusia Mall after 39 years of marriage, they share a warm look between them when asked about their marriage.

"We have a lot in common," Sara says.

"Same interests, respect. Spirituality is important," Larry adds.

This matches what Dr. Finnegan Alford-Cooper, a professor of sociology and anthropology at Stetson University in DeLand, has studied.

"Yes, there is research to suggest that people are attracted to people like themselves. In fact, research has demonstrated that we are attracted to people who are similar to us with respect to socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, religion, personality characteristics, attitudes, beliefs, et cetera," she says.

Alford-Cooper has been married for 16 years and knows firsthand some characteristics of a good relationship.

"In my study of long-term marriage (Long Island Long-Term Marriage Survey, published in "For Keeps: Marriages That Last a Lifetime" ME Sharpe Press, 1998), successful, happily married couples explained their marital longevity and happiness in terms of shared backgrounds, similar norms, values and beliefs," Alford-Cooper says. "They had known each other a relatively long time before marrying, and considered themselves to be good friends to each other."

So, what about the conventional wisdom that opposites attract? It may not be as prevalent, but according to research, it doesn't make it any less true.

Don and Norma Horne fall in the opposites-attract category. The Hornes, who are from Kahnawake, Canada, are just visiting Daytona Beach for the month, but took some time to talk about their 42 years of marriage. They say similarity is not why they got together.

"In our case, it wasn't," Norma says.

THE IT FACTOR

If similarities weren't the key to their attraction, one thing could not be escaped: looks.

"For me, it was important," Don says. "She was as beautiful then as she is now."

Alford-Cooper says that even though attraction is very important at the beginning of the relationship and attractive people are more likely to get dates, it's not the determining factor of whether a relationship lasts.

GOING THE DISTANCE

Alford-Cooper's surveys and interviews with those married 50 or more years reveals that their secret to a lasting relationship was mutual love, respect, trust, commitment, ability to compromise, tactful communication and compatibility. She says that "over half of the happily married spouses also emphasized a willingness to give more than you get -- to be willing to give more than 50/50, understanding that it's a give and take over a lifetime.

"Finally," she adds, "perseverance and determination were important also."
Norma Horne echoes that last sentiment. "You've got to work on it all the time. There's not such a thing as automatic."

"It keeps you on your toes. Don't take it for granted," her husband Don says.

For Sara Rugotzke, the secret ingredients to her long-lasting marriage is humor. "I laugh at him all the time," she says.

Larry Rugotzke looks a little bewildered, and then answers with a smile. "She's full of wisdom and understanding."

Compliments apparently work, too.

sherry.mims@news-jrnl.com-- Real Simple magazine contributed to this story.

Labels: humor, love, marriage, religion, Sherry Mims, spirituality