TruthBook Religious News Blog

Motivations range from greed to God

By Judy Peres
August 1, 2007

If you think people have sex for pleasure and for procreation, you're right. They also have sex to get rid of a headache, to celebrate a special occasion, to get a promotion and to feel closer to God.

New research published in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior has come up with a list of 237 reasons that motivate people to have sex.

Cindy Meston, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and the lead author of the paper, said most people assume there are a few simple reasons for having sex: "It feels good, you're in love or you want to have a child. We found that people are having sex for lots of other reasons."

Knowing that, she said, could boost sex education, help devise more effective strategies for preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and lead to improved treatments for people with sexual problems.

"You need to know why people are having sex if you're trying to put into place a safe-sex program," Meston said. "If you assume people have sex because they're in the heat of the moment, then you tell them to carry condoms. But if they're doing it for revenge or because they want to enhance their social status, that will require a different strategy."

Meston and co-author David Buss conducted their research in two stages. First, they asked a group of more than 400 students and volunteers to simply list "all the reasons you can think of why you, or someone you have known, has engaged in sexual intercourse in the past." That produced 715 reasons. After deleting identical or very similar entries, the researchers were left with 237.

Some were "pretty shocking," Meston said, such as: "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease." She said she was also surprised that some people said they had sex "to get closer to God."

"Most of the literature shows that religious people have more sexual problems," she said. "But several people endorsed the idea that religion and sexuality were actually closely linked."

In the second stage of the research, they asked 1,500 other students to rate how important each of the 237 motivations was in their own sexual behavior.

The students were asked to indicate how frequently each reason had led them to engage in sexual intercourse in the past, on a scale from 1 for never to 5 for all the time. Those who had not had intercourse (27 percent of the women and 32 percent of the men) were asked to indicate the likelihood that each of the reasons would lead them to have sex in the future.

Most gave the usual reasons for having sex. "I was attracted to the person," "It feels good" and "I wanted to show my affection" were high on the lists of both men and women.

Labels: Archives of Sexual Behavior, Cindy Meston, God, Judy Peres, religion, sex

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Saturday, April 14, 2007

Frank Talk About Sex . . . And Faith

Austin author's surprising findings in teen survey

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Saturday, April 14, 2007

Warning: This column might make you blush.

I know it's going to make me a little squeamish. And I think that's part of the point. Religion and sex, to adapt a phrase, make uneasy bedfellows.

But they intersect regularly in the lives of American teenagers. And Mark D. Regnerus, assistant sociology professor at the University of Texas, has found some surprising accounts of how faith influences the sexual decisions of teens.

In his new book, "Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers," Regnerus debunks some myths about trends in teen sexuality, explores the effectiveness of abstinence-only education and hears from those who pledge virginity until marriage or try to determine their "emotional readiness" for sex.

Regnerus used survey data and in-person interviews with more than 250 teens across the country to find out how beliefs and participation in faith communities shape their actions.

The key is being plugged into a religious community, Regnerus says. Participation, rather than denomination, is the factor that makes a difference.

Let me give you a little background here about Regnerus. He's 36 and grew up in Michigan, the son of a minister in the Reformed Church in America, a small denomination founded in the colonial period by Dutch settlers. He now attends Covenant Presbyterian Church in North Austin with his wife and two children.

As a person of faith, he appreciates the influence of religion on teenagers. As a dad, he's well aware of the challenges he'll face when his own kids reach their raging hormones phase.

He understands that it's not easy to talk about sex. And in the age of easy access to Internet pornography, religious and nonreligious parents alike fret about the images and messages that could confront their children.

"It's a strange new world," Regnerus said, adding that porn is "radically shaping how adolescent boys and (young) men think about sex, think about women."

With those images so prevalent, how should churches treat sex? Is it a sacred act? A profane one? Is it both?

These are good questions, but Regnerus says religious communities aren't raising them. Most teens would be hard-pressed to articulate their denomination's teachings on sex, other than "it's best to wait for marriage."

I asked him what approach best serves teens.

"The emotionally healthiest thing to do is wait," Regnerus said. "That seems pretty clear for the evidence."

But he immediately anticipated the next question: Wait for what? Marriage? A monogamous adult relationship? How do parents and religious institutions prepare young people?

In his "unscientific postscript," Regnerus stresses that his book aims to show "what is, not what ought to be." But he's not afraid to share his opposition to abstinence-only education, and he stresses that kids do want to hear about sex from their parents.

"The idea of 'the talk' has to go away," he said. "It must be an ongoing dialogue."
And another thing troubled him: the gender double standard.

"We wink at (boys) and we tell girls to wait," he said.

Yet another complicated issue. It is different for girls. Regnerus found that teen girls struggled more with the guilt and emotional pain associated with sex.

He writes in his postscript, ". . . if congregations intend to be faithful to their own teachings about the body and sexuality, they should stop winking at this double standard, acknowledge it, and start having more frank conversations about the real sexual issues that real people face."

Provided they can stop blushing long enough.

Labels: community, faith, Mark Regnerus, pornography, religion, sex, teenagers