Spiritual Advice and Guidance Blog: Urantia Book: Adultery

Q: What says The Urantia Book about adultery? Is it a mistake to love a married man?

A#1: Adultery is not treated very extensively in The Urantia Book. It is mentioned only a handful of times, and then, mainly only in the context of evolution, where it had to to with ownership of women and property. There are a few mentions in the later portions of the book, and then, there is this event from Jesus' life:

Jesus was confronted by an angry crowd who had a woman in custody for being an adultress. They wanted Jesus to approve stoning her to death, which was the custom of the day, but it was a situation where the woman had been ill-treated by the husband, and coerced into selling her body for money for the husband. Jesus knew, of course, the whole story, and through his superb discernment, de-fused the entire situation, and the woman was set free. Jesus had no words of condemnation for this woman.

In another event, Jesus mentions adultery in this vignette involving a young man who wanted assurance of eternal salvation:

...as Jesus was going for a walk, [a] young man accosted him and said: "Master, I would know from you the assurances of eternal life. Seeing that I have observed all the commandments from my youth, I would like to know what more I must do to gain eternal life?" In answer to this question Jesus said: "If you keep all the commandments--do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your parents--you do well, but salvation is the reward of faith, not merely of works.

Since there is such a scarcity of real advice on this subject in The Urantia Book, I am going to try to answer your quesiton, but from my own perspective, tempered by my years of study with The Urantia Book, and with life...

It is never a mistake to love another person - but we must make the distinction here between love and sex. They are not necessarily connected, nor should they be, if in doing so, you cause harm to another. That is what adultery is - not just LOVING a married man, but allowing that love to cross the line into a sexual connection. And such an act CAN cause harm, and almost always DOES cause harm.

Fortunately, adultery is no longer treated as a capital crime, warranting death. But, I believe that any thinking and feeling person can discern that there is something not right about it - in priciple, if not in fact. There may be factors which contribute to a person's thinking that they are justified in having sex with another person's spouse. But in the final analysis, it is not a physically healthy, or morally correct thing to do.

We can certainly love whomever we please, but that love should not cross the line into adultery. Aside from the health aspect, there are the other spouse's feelings to consider. In its simplest form, adultery appears to me to be motivated by selfishness. And since true love is not selfish, it would also seem that adultery is neither loving nor uplifting for either party - certainly not for the betrayed spouse. And this does not even address the issue of children who may be involved, should this behavior jeopardize their relationship to either of their parents.

Here are a few Urantia Book quotes regarding love:

"Love is the outworking of the divine and inner urge of life. It is founded on understanding, nurtured by unselfish service, and perfected in wisdom."

"Love is the secret of beneficial association between personalities."

"Love is the desire to do good to others."

It appears to me that a person who is thinking about a liaison with a married man is thinking less about real, heartfelt, and honest love, and more about a selfish need for this person's affection, or attention. It bespeaks an ulterior motive that may not be healthy. And that is not love, but something else entirely, and not entirely good.

Again, this is my opinion, but I would think that since the taboo against adultery is one of the original ten commandments, one might be wise to avoid it.

Sincerely,

MaryJo
Truthbook.com

A#2: MaryJo has already provided an excellent reply from her perspective; I've made presumptions but I hope that you will find my reply providing additional insight.

Is it a mistake to love a married man? Certainly not, if you're his wife; most assuredly so if you're not, particularly if he has a family.

Even more than adultery The Urantia Book speaks forcefully for the importance of devotion to the family. So the focus for you would be not the love, but do you or does he have a family?

Consider Jesus' words relating to adult/child relationships:

"...But whosoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea." Children require stability, peace, and a loving home environment in order to develop their potential.

"We know that any child can best relate himself to reality by first mastering the relationships of the child-parent situation and then by enlarging this concept to embrace the family as a whole. Subsequently the growing mind of the child will be able to adjust to the concept of family relations, to relationships of the community, the race, and the world, and then to those of the universe, the superuniverse, even the universe of universes." (8:1.11)

"Society itself is the aggregated structure of family units. Individuals are very temporary as planetary factors--only families are continuing agencies in social evolution. The family is the channel through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another." (84:0.2)

"Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society." (83:8.8)

Character issues: Did this man profess vows when he married? If so is he not breaking some of them now? What could that indicate about his character and his sincerity? Can anyone really admire and respect someone who exhibits such character flaws? What does this indicate of your own character if you're willing to disrupt the lives of a man and his wife for personal gratification?

One of the attributes that distinguishes humans from animals is that animals only learn through experience, they have no ability for discrimination. Humans don't need experience in order to learn or to discover consequences -- we can determine beforehand what the consequences will be. Over time you will find this fruit to be bitter indeed.

Consider both the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments. Whether these are actually God's laws or not may not be so meaningful as the fact that they are proven essential laws of civilization and society. The Golden Rule exhorts us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Are you doing to this man's wife as you would wish another would do to you if you were in her place? For what reason would you think that the Ten Commandments contains the commandment that applies equally to men and women "Thou shall not commit adultery" ?

Thank you for your question and best wishes ...

Larry Watkins
Truthbook.Com

Labels: adultery, character, family, Jesus, Larry Watkins, love, marriage, Mary Jo, Ten Commandments, The Urantia Book

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