Spiritual Advice and Guidance Blog: Urantia Book

Q: Forgiving is one of the hardest thing to do to be able to fully submit yourself to God. What is the first step that I should do that will lead me in forgiving someone?

A: You are right that forgiving can be the hardest thing to do. All of us can relate to this...I guess the first thing you must do is to decide whether your un-forgiveness is helping you to achieve the kind of relationship you desire with God - your desire to willingly submit to his will. Is your unwillingness to forgive helping you in your search for peace and happiness in your inner life? Is your anger doing anything to right the situation? Is carrying the burdens of hurt and anger worth the effort?

When we have been sinned against by another - when our sense of right and wrong has been violated by another's words or actions, we recognize it, and we feel anger or indignation against that person - often rightly so. It is a very human response. Sometimes, we dream of revenge or retaliation - our anger burns bright, and we can fan the flames by harboring these feelings - sometimes for long periods of time. But is that helpful? The feelings of anger and hurt are heavy burdens to the heart, and usually do not in any way affect the offender, only the one who harbors them.

The Urantia Book tells us that "anger is like a stone hurled into a hornet's nest." It is a "mental poison" that can "interfere with the spiritual progress of the evolving soul."

So, what is one to do? Jesus was one of the most sinned-against persons we know. He was betrayed, he was deserted by his friends, he was wrongly put to death. And yet, through all of his trials, he remained loving, tolerant and forgiving. He said: "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do."

We must learn to forgive in this life. The first step is to realize the harm that unforgiveness can do to YOU, and that may lead you to make a decision to forgive. Ask God to show you the way to achieve it in your heart. Accept the fact that you are also in need of forgiveness, and pray to realize it. As you learn to forgive everyone who has ever wronged you, you will in turn start to experience forgiveness of your own misdeeds as well. This can be a very liberating experience.

From The Urantia Book:

The Father in heaven has forgiven you even before you have thought to ask him, but such forgiveness is not available in your personal religious experience until such a time as you forgive your fellow men. God's forgiveness in fact is not conditioned upon your forgiving your fellows, but in experience it is exactly so conditioned. And this fact of the synchrony of divine and human forgiveness was thus recognized and linked together in the prayer which Jesus taught the apostles.p1638:4(146:2.4)

And that prayer is, of course, the "Lord's Prayer," which asks God to "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

When you can make that mental and spiritual decision to forgive another, you will feel a lifting of your burdens. Leave the offender to God, and remember that "forgiving tolerance" is one of the fruits of the spirit that we are called upon to produce in our lives. Forgiveness can be difficult, but making the effort is well worth it.

Labels: anger, forgiveness, fruits of the spirit, God, God's Will, Jesus, The Lord's Prayer

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Friday, November 07, 2008

How can I help someone who is very angry at God?

Q: I have a friend who's husband is really, really angry at God for the terminal cancer that his brother-in-law is facing. His brother has two small children, and it seems so unfair to him. Do you have any insight as to how to address this - to give her (my friend) some words of wisdom that she might be able to help her husband with?

A: The most important thing I would tell someone who was angry at God for the illness and impending death of a loved is that everyone dies. There is nobody on earth that doesn't die sooner or later. This is a fact of our existence and to some degree the only variable is how we will die. There are some blessings involved in dying with an illness that allows everyone time to assimilate the reality of it, take care of business and say their goodbyes. It's much harder when someone dies accidentally and leaves many things undone. Even so, death happens to everyone and it will happen to this woman's husband too.

From God's point of view, death is not an end but a beginning and it helps to try to get people to look at it that way. Death is really just another birth in an endless cycle of life. The analogy of birth really helps me a lot. Before a person is born they have everything they need. They are in a warm and nurturing environment. Then suddenly the same environment that sustained their being is now totally rejecting them. It must be terribly traumatic. Soon they go from a very small closed environment, where everything is provided rather automatically, to a huge open environment where nothing is provided except when they cry. No wonder they cry so much. But think of the loving hands and warm smiling faces that greet new babies.

Emergence into the next world is no different. Perhaps your friend can get her husband to imagine the joy on the other side when a newly born soul arrives over there. Imagine the joy of reunion for those loved ones who have already passed over and the joy of God and the angels to welcome this beloved child to the shores of the next phase of their ongoing existence. Also, there is the indescribable personal joy of the one who dies but then makes the awesome discovery that there really is no death.

She can remind her husband that because God is the perfect loving parent he feels our pain and is afflicted with us, just as her husband would be afflicted by the pain of his own children.

Some human suffering is unavoidable. God does not dole out death and suffering, these things are brought about by life on the material worlds. However, trust in the goodness of God does give us the comfort and hope that gets us through these difficulties.

Also, comfort your friend with the simple reality that God understands why we humans get angry at him but truly experiences nothing but love for us. Anger does not exist in God. He knows that, compared to eternal viewpoints, human viewpoints are as limited as the vision of a new born baby. Her husband will come to peace in time, anger is part of a grieving process and most people move beyond it, sooner or later.

Please see our Life After Death page, where you'll find our e-magazine "There Is Life After Death," as well as flash movies about life after death, and other uplifting features that will help and inspire you and your friend.

Labels: anger, cancer, God, illness, life after death, suffering, The Urantia Book

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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Angry at God

Q: I have a friend who's husband is really, really angry at God for the terminal cancer that his brother-in-law is facing. His brother has two small children, and it seems so unfair to him. Do you have any insight as to how to address this - to give her (my friend) some words of wisdom that she might be able to help her husband with?

A: The most important thing I would tell someone who was angry at God for the illness and impending death of a loved is that everyone dies. There is nobody on earth that doesn't die sooner or later. This is a fact of our existence and to some degree the only variable is how we will die. There are some blessings involved in dying with an illness that allows everyone time to assimilate the reality of it, take care of business and say their goodbyes. It's much harder when someone dies accidentally and leaves many things undone. Even so, death happens to everyone and it will happen to this woman's husband too.

From God's point of view, death is not an end but a beginning and it helps to try to get people to look at it that way. Death is really just another birth in an endless cycle of life. The analogy of birth really helps me a lot. Before a person is born they have everything they need. They are in a warm and nurturing environment. Then suddenly the same environment that sustained their being is now totally rejecting them. It must be terribly traumatic. Soon they go from a very small closed environment, where everything is provided rather automatically, to a huge open environment where nothing is provided except when they cry. No wonder they cry so much. But think of the loving hands and warm smiling faces that greet new babies.

Emergence into the next world is no different. Perhaps your friend can get her husband to imagine the joy on the other side when a newly born soul arrives over there. Imagine the joy of reunion for those loved ones who have already passed over and the joy of God and the angels to welcome this beloved child to the shores of the next phase of their ongoing existence. Also, there is the indescribable personal joy of the one who dies but then makes the awesome discovery that there really is no death.

She can remind her husband that because God is the perfect loving parent he feels our pain and is afflicted with us, just as her husband would be afflicted by the pain of his own children.

Some human suffering is unavoidable. God does not dole out death and suffering, these things are brought about by life on the material worlds. However, trust in the goodness of God does give us the comfort and hope that gets us through these difficulties.

Also, comfort your friend with the simple reality that God understands why we humans get angry at him but truly experiences nothing but love for us. Anger does not exist in God. He knows that, compared to eternal viewpoints, human viewpoints are as limited as the vision of a new born baby. Her husband will come to peace in time, anger is part of a grieving process and most people move beyond it, sooner or later.

The Life After Death Magazine helps to comfort many people.

Love.....Paula

Labels: anger, death, God, illness, Paula, suffering, trust