Spiritual Advice and Guidance Blog: Urantia Book

Q: Are Marriages fixed in Heaven and taking place on Earth, as per the creator's will?

A: Thank you so much for your note to us here at Truthbook.

It is a sweet idea, isn't it - this belief that two people are somehow divinely ordained to be together? And it could be that having this belief can influence two people to work harder than they otherwise might to make a marriage work. But we learn in The Urantia Book that marriage is a strictly evolutionary social institution, and of purely human sanctity - it evolved in response to the need for the stability and progress of humanity. Out of the marriage institution the family was created, which The Urantia Book teaches is the "master civilizer." Marriage allowed for stability of the family unit in primitive times, and it is an institution that still has the highest potential still, if we could somehow figure out how to do it right...so many marriages fail, even those that are performed in a sacred context between spirit-minded people.

I suggest that you read HERE for more information regarding Urantia Book teachings about this vital development in human civilization. And in the meantime, here is a partial section from Paper 83 - "The Marriage Institution" which clearly addresses your question :

(83:8.2) The likening of human associations to divine associations is most unfortunate. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship is a material function of the mortals of the evolutionary worlds. True, indeed, much spiritual progress may accrue consequent upon the sincere human efforts of husband and wife to progress, but this does not mean that marriage is necessarily sacred. Spiritual progress is attendant upon sincere application to other avenues of human endeavor.

Neither can marriage be truly compared to the relation of the Adjuster to man nor to the fraternity of Christ Michael and his human brethren. At scarcely any point are such relationships comparable to the association of husband and wife. And it is most unfortunate that the human misconception of these relationships has produced so much confusion as to the status of marriage.

It is also unfortunate that certain groups of mortals have conceived of marriage as being consummated by divine action. Such beliefs lead directly to the concept of the indissolubility of the marital state regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. But the very fact of marriage dissolution itself indicates that Deity is not a conjoining party to such unions. If God has once joined any two things or persons together, they will remain thus joined until such a time as the divine will decrees their separation. But, regarding marriage, which is a human institution, who shall presume to sit in judgment, to say which marriages are unions that might be approved by the universe supervisors in contrast with those which are purely human in nature and origin?

Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred.

As you can see from the above quote, marriage is not "fixed in Heaven," nor is it necessarily the "creator's will."

However, I think it is safe to say that marriage is the highest estate to which one can aspire for the purposes of creating the family, and fostering those Godly ideals of love, loyalty, devotion, forgiveness and tolerance that are so vital to a successful marriage and a successful society. When two people are mutually united in this endeavor, and most especially when when they have God at the head of their union and the resulting family, this marriage can be surely an example of a "sacred" union, and this kind of union is well-worth pursuing.

Vast numbers of people desire this kind of ideal close relationship when they enter into marriage, and yet unfortunately, we can see how many marriages are dissolved when the going gets tough or intolerable. A great many marriages do not even rise to the level of the sacred, but are entered into in a quite secular way - for any number of reasons.

One may surmise that if marriage is fixed in Heaven there would be a higher success rate. There can be many reasons for the great number of failed marriages, but it is simply further evidence of the purely human nature of mortal marriage.

Thank you again for writing to us - I hope that this response has been helpful to you.

Labels: evolution, family, God's Will, marriage, The Urantia Book

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Friday, April 10, 2009

Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture reprised

This is a very inspiring presentation. It is a reprise of a lecture given by Randy Pausch, a very learned man, both mentally and spiritually, who was facing imminent death at the time of this talk. The original talk was given to his students, and this one is a condensed version from the Oprah Show. Good lessons for life!

Labels: cancer, choice, death, family, joy, Oprah, Rany Pausch

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Adultery

Q: What says The Urantia Book about adultery? Is it a mistake to love a married man?

A#1: Adultery is not treated very extensively in The Urantia Book. It is mentioned only a handful of times, and then, mainly only in the context of evolution, where it had to to with ownership of women and property. There are a few mentions in the later portions of the book, and then, there is this event from Jesus' life:

Jesus was confronted by an angry crowd who had a woman in custody for being an adultress. They wanted Jesus to approve stoning her to death, which was the custom of the day, but it was a situation where the woman had been ill-treated by the husband, and coerced into selling her body for money for the husband. Jesus knew, of course, the whole story, and through his superb discernment, de-fused the entire situation, and the woman was set free. Jesus had no words of condemnation for this woman.

In another event, Jesus mentions adultery in this vignette involving a young man who wanted assurance of eternal salvation:

...as Jesus was going for a walk, [a] young man accosted him and said: "Master, I would know from you the assurances of eternal life. Seeing that I have observed all the commandments from my youth, I would like to know what more I must do to gain eternal life?" In answer to this question Jesus said: "If you keep all the commandments--do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your parents--you do well, but salvation is the reward of faith, not merely of works.

Since there is such a scarcity of real advice on this subject in The Urantia Book, I am going to try to answer your quesiton, but from my own perspective, tempered by my years of study with The Urantia Book, and with life...

It is never a mistake to love another person - but we must make the distinction here between love and sex. They are not necessarily connected, nor should they be, if in doing so, you cause harm to another. That is what adultery is - not just LOVING a married man, but allowing that love to cross the line into a sexual connection. And such an act CAN cause harm, and almost always DOES cause harm.

Fortunately, adultery is no longer treated as a capital crime, warranting death. But, I believe that any thinking and feeling person can discern that there is something not right about it - in priciple, if not in fact. There may be factors which contribute to a person's thinking that they are justified in having sex with another person's spouse. But in the final analysis, it is not a physically healthy, or morally correct thing to do.

We can certainly love whomever we please, but that love should not cross the line into adultery. Aside from the health aspect, there are the other spouse's feelings to consider. In its simplest form, adultery appears to me to be motivated by selfishness. And since true love is not selfish, it would also seem that adultery is neither loving nor uplifting for either party - certainly not for the betrayed spouse. And this does not even address the issue of children who may be involved, should this behavior jeopardize their relationship to either of their parents.

Here are a few Urantia Book quotes regarding love:

"Love is the outworking of the divine and inner urge of life. It is founded on understanding, nurtured by unselfish service, and perfected in wisdom."

"Love is the secret of beneficial association between personalities."

"Love is the desire to do good to others."

It appears to me that a person who is thinking about a liaison with a married man is thinking less about real, heartfelt, and honest love, and more about a selfish need for this person's affection, or attention. It bespeaks an ulterior motive that may not be healthy. And that is not love, but something else entirely, and not entirely good.

Again, this is my opinion, but I would think that since the taboo against adultery is one of the original ten commandments, one might be wise to avoid it.

Sincerely,

MaryJo
Truthbook.com

A#2: MaryJo has already provided an excellent reply from her perspective; I've made presumptions but I hope that you will find my reply providing additional insight.

Is it a mistake to love a married man? Certainly not, if you're his wife; most assuredly so if you're not, particularly if he has a family.

Even more than adultery The Urantia Book speaks forcefully for the importance of devotion to the family. So the focus for you would be not the love, but do you or does he have a family?

Consider Jesus' words relating to adult/child relationships:

"...But whosoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea." Children require stability, peace, and a loving home environment in order to develop their potential.

"We know that any child can best relate himself to reality by first mastering the relationships of the child-parent situation and then by enlarging this concept to embrace the family as a whole. Subsequently the growing mind of the child will be able to adjust to the concept of family relations, to relationships of the community, the race, and the world, and then to those of the universe, the superuniverse, even the universe of universes." (8:1.11)

"Society itself is the aggregated structure of family units. Individuals are very temporary as planetary factors--only families are continuing agencies in social evolution. The family is the channel through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another." (84:0.2)

"Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society." (83:8.8)

Character issues: Did this man profess vows when he married? If so is he not breaking some of them now? What could that indicate about his character and his sincerity? Can anyone really admire and respect someone who exhibits such character flaws? What does this indicate of your own character if you're willing to disrupt the lives of a man and his wife for personal gratification?

One of the attributes that distinguishes humans from animals is that animals only learn through experience, they have no ability for discrimination. Humans don't need experience in order to learn or to discover consequences -- we can determine beforehand what the consequences will be. Over time you will find this fruit to be bitter indeed.

Consider both the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments. Whether these are actually God's laws or not may not be so meaningful as the fact that they are proven essential laws of civilization and society. The Golden Rule exhorts us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Are you doing to this man's wife as you would wish another would do to you if you were in her place? For what reason would you think that the Ten Commandments contains the commandment that applies equally to men and women "Thou shall not commit adultery" ?

Thank you for your question and best wishes ...

Larry Watkins
Truthbook.Com

Labels: adultery, character, family, Jesus, Larry Watkins, love, marriage, Mary Jo, Ten Commandments, The Urantia Book

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Monday, April 17, 2006

What does the Urantia Book say about Divorce?

Q: What does the Urantia Book say about Divorce?

A: The Urantia Book traces the evolution of divorce as cultures have progressed and gives some of the following additionally more specific comments.

The high degree of imagination and fantastic romance entering into courtship is largely responsible for the increasing divorce tendencies among modern Occidental peoples, all of which is further complicated by woman's greater personal freedom and increased economic liberty. Easy divorce, when the result of lack of self-control or failure of normal personality adjustment, only leads directly back to those crude societal stages from which man has emerged so recently and as the result of so much personal anguish and racial suffering.

But just so long as society fails to properly educate children and youths, so long as the social order fails to provide adequate premarital training, and so long as unwise and immature youthful idealism is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long will divorce remain prevalent. And in so far as the social group falls short of providing marriage preparation for youths, to that extent must divorce function as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid growth of the evolving mores.
Paper-83 Section-7 Para-7-8

Jesus was minded to go on discussing the other commandments when James Zebedee interrupted him, asking: "Master, what shall we teach the people regarding divorcement? Shall we allow a man to divorce his wife as Moses has directed?" And when Jesus heard this question, he said: "I have not come to legislate but to enlighten. I have come not to reform the kingdoms of this world but rather to establish the kingdom of heaven. It is not the will of the Father that I should yield to the temptation to teach you rules of government, trade, or social behavior, which, while they might be good for today, would be far from suitable for the society of another age. I am on earth solely to comfort the minds, liberate the spirits, and save the souls of men. But I will say, concerning this question of divorcement, that, while Moses looked with favor upon such things, it was not so in the days of Adam and in the Garden."
Paper-140 Section-6 Para-6

The family occupied the very center of Jesus' philosophy of life here and hereafter. He based his teachings about God on the family, while he sought to correct the Jewish tendency to overhonor ancestors. He exalted family life as the highest human duty but made it plain that family relationships must not interfere with religious obligations. He called attention to the fact that the family is a temporal institution; that it does not survive death. Jesus did not hesitate to give up his family when the family ran counter to the Father's will. He taught the new and larger brotherhood of man--the sons of God. In Jesus' time divorce practices were lax in Palestine and throughout the Roman Empire. He repeatedly refused to lay down laws regarding marriage and divorce, but many of Jesus' early followers had strong opinions on divorce and did not hesitate to attribute them to him. All of the New Testament writers held to these more stringent and advanced ideas about divorce except John Mark.
Paper-140 Section-8 Para-14

You may wish to read all of the following section as well regarding Jesus' attitude toward divorce: Paper 167 Section 5

May I also recommend that if you're not already signed up that you consider subscribing to the Quote of the Day. It's a free service that offers a daily quote from the incomparable teachings of this marvelous book along with a beautiful and inspiring image, a great way to start one's day as well as to begin to understand the teachings of the book. To subscribe go to the upper right corner of our home page, click on Quote of the Day and follow the instructions.

Thank you for your question,

Larry Watkins
Truthbook.com

Labels: divorce, family, Jesus, Larry Watkins, The Urantia Book

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