Spiritual Advice and Guidance Blog: Urantia Book

Q: If a woman has had three different husbands on earth, which one will she wind up with in Heaven?

A: Thank you for your note to Truthbook.com, a website dedicated to the teachings of The Urantia Book.

When you get to heaven, you will be reunited with those people with whom you enjoyed some kind of meaningful relationship. This will possibly include parents, children, friends, and yes - spouses. No meaningful relationship is ever lost - nothing of real value ever disappears in the universe, and all relationships with other personalities are an end in themselves, with eternal value.

However, it is an error to think that a person's marriages continue in Heaven. While we do enjoy the fellowship of many personalities - both those that we knew on Earth, and many new ones - our life after death is for the purpose of guiding each individual along the Father's ascension plan; the only goal of that plan is to reach Paradise. Our mortal, physical bodies are not resurrected; instead we acquire a new form which is not physical. We no longer reproduce children, nor do we have sexual experiences as we do on earth. There is no need for marriage in Heaven as we know it on Earth, as that part of our earthly existence is over.

In truth, we will be more like the angels when we resurrect into our new life after death. Here is a passage from The Urantia Book which explains something of the way we will be after we pass from this life:

(38:2.2) Though seraphim are very affectionate and sympathetic beings, they are not sex-emotion creatures. They are much as you will be on the mansion worlds, where you will "neither marry nor be given in marriage but will be as the angels of heaven." For all who "shall be accounted worthy to attain the mansion worlds neither marry nor are given in marriage; neither do they die any more, for they are equal to the angels."

The "Mansion Worlds" are those stopping places on our way to Paradise, and where we will meet our loved ones from our earth-life.

The only part of us that survives this earthly life is our immortal soul, which is spiritual in nature. While you will know and be known, remembered and remembered by, your former earthly associates, the bonds of marriage that you enjoyed on earth will not continue into your eternal adventure.

Thanks very much for this interesting question. I hope that this reply has been useful to you...

Labels: heaven, Mansion Worlds, marriage, relationship, The Urantia Book

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

Are Marriages fixed in Heaven and taking place on Earth, as per the creator's will?

Q: Are Marriages fixed in Heaven and taking place on Earth, as per the creator's will?

A: Thank you so much for your note to us here at Truthbook.

It is a sweet idea, isn't it - this belief that two people are somehow divinely ordained to be together? And it could be that having this belief can influence two people to work harder than they otherwise might to make a marriage work. But we learn in The Urantia Book that marriage is a strictly evolutionary social institution, and of purely human sanctity - it evolved in response to the need for the stability and progress of humanity. Out of the marriage institution the family was created, which The Urantia Book teaches is the "master civilizer." Marriage allowed for stability of the family unit in primitive times, and it is an institution that still has the highest potential still, if we could somehow figure out how to do it right...so many marriages fail, even those that are performed in a sacred context between spirit-minded people.

I suggest that you read HERE for more information regarding Urantia Book teachings about this vital development in human civilization. And in the meantime, here is a partial section from Paper 83 - "The Marriage Institution" which clearly addresses your question :

(83:8.2) The likening of human associations to divine associations is most unfortunate. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship is a material function of the mortals of the evolutionary worlds. True, indeed, much spiritual progress may accrue consequent upon the sincere human efforts of husband and wife to progress, but this does not mean that marriage is necessarily sacred. Spiritual progress is attendant upon sincere application to other avenues of human endeavor.

Neither can marriage be truly compared to the relation of the Adjuster to man nor to the fraternity of Christ Michael and his human brethren. At scarcely any point are such relationships comparable to the association of husband and wife. And it is most unfortunate that the human misconception of these relationships has produced so much confusion as to the status of marriage.

It is also unfortunate that certain groups of mortals have conceived of marriage as being consummated by divine action. Such beliefs lead directly to the concept of the indissolubility of the marital state regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. But the very fact of marriage dissolution itself indicates that Deity is not a conjoining party to such unions. If God has once joined any two things or persons together, they will remain thus joined until such a time as the divine will decrees their separation. But, regarding marriage, which is a human institution, who shall presume to sit in judgment, to say which marriages are unions that might be approved by the universe supervisors in contrast with those which are purely human in nature and origin?

Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred.

As you can see from the above quote, marriage is not "fixed in Heaven," nor is it necessarily the "creator's will."

However, I think it is safe to say that marriage is the highest estate to which one can aspire for the purposes of creating the family, and fostering those Godly ideals of love, loyalty, devotion, forgiveness and tolerance that are so vital to a successful marriage and a successful society. When two people are mutually united in this endeavor, and most especially when when they have God at the head of their union and the resulting family, this marriage can be surely an example of a "sacred" union, and this kind of union is well-worth pursuing.

Vast numbers of people desire this kind of ideal close relationship when they enter into marriage, and yet unfortunately, we can see how many marriages are dissolved when the going gets tough or intolerable. A great many marriages do not even rise to the level of the sacred, but are entered into in a quite secular way - for any number of reasons.

One may surmise that if marriage is fixed in Heaven there would be a higher success rate. There can be many reasons for the great number of failed marriages, but it is simply further evidence of the purely human nature of mortal marriage.

Thank you again for writing to us - I hope that this response has been helpful to you.

Labels: evolution, family, God's Will, marriage, The Urantia Book

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Is Mating a Divine Instinct?

Q: I was wondering. Is there some kind of spiritual aura that attract two of the opposite sex together? Many, if not all humans have this drive to find that special one, who God destined them to find and live with. Is that a divine human instinct?

A: I am enclosing a link which will take you to a section of The Urantia Book titled: The Mating Instinct.

Among other things, this section explains that this powerful instinct is an "innate propensity."

I believe that what adds an element of "the divine" to it is the quality of selfless love and devotion. These excellent qualities of love ennoble the simply primal sex urges to the highest possible outcomes - marriage, home and family.

Does God ordain a "special one" for each of us? I am sure that when we do find a person with whom we can share our lives, when such a relationship becomes infused with devoted love, understanding and tolerance, then we certainly can imagine that it is "destined," which further increases our desire to do all we can to make it the best relationship possible. This addition of "the divine" encourages us to develop persistence, tolerance, trust and purpose, especially when times are hard. We ennoble such relationship by marriage, and we create special rituals to mark such a relationship with religious meaning. This helps to further raise the mating instinct to those high levels of divine meaning and value that make life so very worthwhile, and which help to soften the rigors of living. All relationships are an end unto themselves, and this wonderful relationship of man and woman united in marriage remains one of the most precious, and the most sought-after.

When two people of like spiritual leanings find each other in mutual attraction, it certainly can lend a "spiritual aura" to that relationship. And, when God is added as a "third" in any relationship, it certainly will raise that relationship's potential to one of eternal value.

Thank you for writing to us with this great question.

Labels: God, instinct, love, marriage, mating, The Urantia Book

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Adultery

Q: What says The Urantia Book about adultery? Is it a mistake to love a married man?

A#1: Adultery is not treated very extensively in The Urantia Book. It is mentioned only a handful of times, and then, mainly only in the context of evolution, where it had to to with ownership of women and property. There are a few mentions in the later portions of the book, and then, there is this event from Jesus' life:

Jesus was confronted by an angry crowd who had a woman in custody for being an adultress. They wanted Jesus to approve stoning her to death, which was the custom of the day, but it was a situation where the woman had been ill-treated by the husband, and coerced into selling her body for money for the husband. Jesus knew, of course, the whole story, and through his superb discernment, de-fused the entire situation, and the woman was set free. Jesus had no words of condemnation for this woman.

In another event, Jesus mentions adultery in this vignette involving a young man who wanted assurance of eternal salvation:

...as Jesus was going for a walk, [a] young man accosted him and said: "Master, I would know from you the assurances of eternal life. Seeing that I have observed all the commandments from my youth, I would like to know what more I must do to gain eternal life?" In answer to this question Jesus said: "If you keep all the commandments--do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your parents--you do well, but salvation is the reward of faith, not merely of works.

Since there is such a scarcity of real advice on this subject in The Urantia Book, I am going to try to answer your quesiton, but from my own perspective, tempered by my years of study with The Urantia Book, and with life...

It is never a mistake to love another person - but we must make the distinction here between love and sex. They are not necessarily connected, nor should they be, if in doing so, you cause harm to another. That is what adultery is - not just LOVING a married man, but allowing that love to cross the line into a sexual connection. And such an act CAN cause harm, and almost always DOES cause harm.

Fortunately, adultery is no longer treated as a capital crime, warranting death. But, I believe that any thinking and feeling person can discern that there is something not right about it - in priciple, if not in fact. There may be factors which contribute to a person's thinking that they are justified in having sex with another person's spouse. But in the final analysis, it is not a physically healthy, or morally correct thing to do.

We can certainly love whomever we please, but that love should not cross the line into adultery. Aside from the health aspect, there are the other spouse's feelings to consider. In its simplest form, adultery appears to me to be motivated by selfishness. And since true love is not selfish, it would also seem that adultery is neither loving nor uplifting for either party - certainly not for the betrayed spouse. And this does not even address the issue of children who may be involved, should this behavior jeopardize their relationship to either of their parents.

Here are a few Urantia Book quotes regarding love:

"Love is the outworking of the divine and inner urge of life. It is founded on understanding, nurtured by unselfish service, and perfected in wisdom."

"Love is the secret of beneficial association between personalities."

"Love is the desire to do good to others."

It appears to me that a person who is thinking about a liaison with a married man is thinking less about real, heartfelt, and honest love, and more about a selfish need for this person's affection, or attention. It bespeaks an ulterior motive that may not be healthy. And that is not love, but something else entirely, and not entirely good.

Again, this is my opinion, but I would think that since the taboo against adultery is one of the original ten commandments, one might be wise to avoid it.

Sincerely,

MaryJo
Truthbook.com

A#2: MaryJo has already provided an excellent reply from her perspective; I've made presumptions but I hope that you will find my reply providing additional insight.

Is it a mistake to love a married man? Certainly not, if you're his wife; most assuredly so if you're not, particularly if he has a family.

Even more than adultery The Urantia Book speaks forcefully for the importance of devotion to the family. So the focus for you would be not the love, but do you or does he have a family?

Consider Jesus' words relating to adult/child relationships:

"...But whosoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea." Children require stability, peace, and a loving home environment in order to develop their potential.

"We know that any child can best relate himself to reality by first mastering the relationships of the child-parent situation and then by enlarging this concept to embrace the family as a whole. Subsequently the growing mind of the child will be able to adjust to the concept of family relations, to relationships of the community, the race, and the world, and then to those of the universe, the superuniverse, even the universe of universes." (8:1.11)

"Society itself is the aggregated structure of family units. Individuals are very temporary as planetary factors--only families are continuing agencies in social evolution. The family is the channel through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another." (84:0.2)

"Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society." (83:8.8)

Character issues: Did this man profess vows when he married? If so is he not breaking some of them now? What could that indicate about his character and his sincerity? Can anyone really admire and respect someone who exhibits such character flaws? What does this indicate of your own character if you're willing to disrupt the lives of a man and his wife for personal gratification?

One of the attributes that distinguishes humans from animals is that animals only learn through experience, they have no ability for discrimination. Humans don't need experience in order to learn or to discover consequences -- we can determine beforehand what the consequences will be. Over time you will find this fruit to be bitter indeed.

Consider both the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments. Whether these are actually God's laws or not may not be so meaningful as the fact that they are proven essential laws of civilization and society. The Golden Rule exhorts us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Are you doing to this man's wife as you would wish another would do to you if you were in her place? For what reason would you think that the Ten Commandments contains the commandment that applies equally to men and women "Thou shall not commit adultery" ?

Thank you for your question and best wishes ...

Larry Watkins
Truthbook.Com

Labels: adultery, character, family, Jesus, Larry Watkins, love, marriage, Mary Jo, Ten Commandments, The Urantia Book

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Is sex before marriage bad or immoral?

Q: Is sex before marriage bad or immoral?

A: Let me begin this response to your thoughtful question by saying that The Urantia Book does not make moral edicts concerning sexual relationships. There are no, â€œThou shalt notsâ€� in the book. However, it does give us many reasons why our moral choices are vitally important to our spiritual growth and to human progress in general. It also gives us some great and practical advice concerning these matters. For instance: Paper 72, Government On A Neighboring Planet, and Paper 84, Marriage And Family Life, both give us guideposts the ideals human marriage and family relationships. Jesus also had some amazing things to say to John Mark about ideal family life in Paper 177, Wednesday, The Day Of Rest.

In the thirty years that I have studied these teachings one thing becomes absolutely apparent to me about matters like premarital sex. Each human must grapple with these decisions using their own highest understanding of personal morality, truth and righteousness. Each person must weigh all such moral decisions, like having sex out of wedlock, with utmost consideration for the meaning, value, and consequence of the decision. The Heavenly Father requires us to grow through prayerful and reflective decision making. That is, decisions based on our highest moral understanding and inner guidance. Consider the following quote: "The keys of the kingdom of heaven are: sincerity, more sincerity, and more sincerity. All men have these keys. Men use them--advance in spirit status--by decisions, by more decisions, and by more decisions. The highest moral choice is the choice of the highest possible value, and always--in any sphere, in all of them--this is to choose to do the will of God."

Each person has to determine what God's will is for himself or herself. I tried to help my own children to make intelligent decisions, not by demanding that they not do something, but by giving them the tools they need (in reality the education) to make wise decisions when confronted with difficult situations. We frankly discussed human sexuality, and I gave them the benefit of my experience. I told them what I wished someone had told me. Did they engage in premarital sex? Perhaps, I canâ€™t really say for sure. But if they did, I know that they completely understood that first and foremost, sex is how humans procreate. In other words, sex brings little humans into the world, and with little humans comes huge, even cosmic responsibilities. The first question any person should ask themselves before having sex is; â€œWould I want this man/woman to be the father/mother of my children?â€� Being a father or mother is, at the very least, a lifelong commitment.

Is sex before marriage bad or immoral? It certainly can be depending upon the intent of the people engaged in it. Mankind all too often engages in pleasure mania, doing something for no other reason than that it feels good, and becomes unwilling to make any effort to take responsibility for consequences that come with his or her actions, nor for spiritual growth or commitment.

As a woman, I feel that sex is the ultimate act of submission. We women open up and let another person enter into our most intimate and personal self. This, in my thinking, is never something to be taken lightly. Through this act of submission, we women risk not only our emotional well-being (as it is easy for a woman to fall under these circumstances) but we are also the ones who will take on the lion's share of responsibility in the case of pregnancy. If the man is not willing to take equal responsibility for the possible consequences of "sex" (childbearing) the results can be devastating for the woman. I think any wise woman will take time for careful consideration before having sex with anyone.

Ultimately, the real challenge for any of us humans is self-control. Anything that gives man pleasure can be abused. Any good thing can become a bad thing if it is done recklessly, excessively, or thoughtlessly. Well, that's my best thinking on this subject, and I hope it's helpful.

Thank you for a thought-provoking question.

Every blessing...Paula

Labels: children, marriage, morality, Paula, self-control, sex, The Urantia Book