Spiritual Advice and Guidance Blog: Urantia Book

10 years ago I had an abortion. I really regret what I did and I wonder what has happened to the soul of the child. How can I come to terms with what I did and will I meet my child after death?

I am so sorry...regret is a terrible thing to bear, and I can sympathise. I don't share your same experience, but I have wrestled with overwhelming regret, and it can be debilitating.

First of all, let me try to put your mind to rest regarding the fate of your child. According the the teachings of The Urantia Book, your child is safe. While your child was not old enough to have possessed a soul (and this is true of any child under the general age of five years), it does have a potential soul, and a potential identity. Your child is located at the probationary nursery , and is being lovingly cared for by the cherubim until such time as either of its parents arrive on the Mansion Worlds.

Here's a wonderful quote from The Urantia Book regarding your possible future experience with your child:

But irrespective of parental experience, mansion world parents who have growing children in the probation nursery are given every opportunity to collaborate with the morontia custodians of such children regarding their instruction and training. These parents are permitted to journey there for visits as often as four times a year. And it is one of the most touchingly beautiful scenes of all the ascending career to observe the mansion world parents embrace their material offspring on the occasions of their periodic pilgrimages to the finaliter world. While one or both parents may leave a mansion world ahead of the child, they are quite often contemporary for a season. p531:3

In any event, your child is not lost, so please try to take heart from this information. Our Father is not willing that any should perish, and knowing that, we have to trust that even unborn mortals are given the same opportunity for eternal life that all mortals enjoy. I like to think that there are special places in the nursery where the unborn are nurtured and grown in safety and love. That is my own imagining, since this specific circumstance is not covered in The Urantia Book, but I feel sure that some provision is made, so that eventually, he or she will be able to choose to advance...and that you will sometime be able to meet. There is nowhere in The Urantia Book that teaches otherwise.

And, just in case you have questions about your own survival, please see our featured page on Life After Death>

As for coming to terms with your actions, let me quote a favorite passage from The Urantia Book that has been of great solace to me:

Do not become discouraged by the discovery that you are human. Human nature may tend toward evil, but it is not inherently sinful. Be not downcast by your failure wholly to forget some of your regrettable experiences. The mistakes which you fail to forget in time will be forgotten in eternity. Lighten your burdens of soul by speedily acquiring a long-distance view of your destiny, a universe expansion of your career. p1739:3(156:5.8)

It is important that you learn to forgive yourself, and move forward. I am sure that, at the time, you did this for what may have seemed to be good and sufficient reasons. Ten years is a long time to carry this burden on your heart, and for your own well-being, you must release it. Maybe the knowledge that your child is not really lost will help you to do that.

Said Jesus: "My disciples must not only cease to do evil but learn to do well; you must not only be cleansed from all conscious sin, but you must refuse to harbor even the feelings of guilt. If you confess your sins, they are forgiven; therefore must you maintain a conscience void of offense." p1736:4(156:2.7)

So, you can see from this comforting passage from Jesus that the first step in your renewal is to confess your wrongdoing, which you likely have already done, and receive God's forgiveness for it. And one of the surest ways to receive that forgiveness is to practice the forgiveness of others in your life who may have wronged you.

Again, from The Urantia Book:

The Father in heaven has forgiven you even before you have thought to ask him, but such forgiveness is not available in your personal religious experience until such a time as you forgive your fellow men. God's forgiveness in fact is not conditioned upon your forgiving your fellows, but in experience it is exactly so conditioned. P1638,(146:2.4)

So, while you are already forgiven, you will actually experience the fullness of that forgiveness as you, in turn, forgive others.

Yours is not the first case that I have heard of where there is regret following this decision. I am adding your letter to our site (minus any identifying information, of course) in hopes that others may see your experience and think twice before making this life-changing choice.

Maybe you could look for an opportunity to personally minister to women who are facing this dilemma; in this way, you could see some real good come from your experience.

Labels: abortion, forgiveness, Jesus, life after death, probationary nursery, regret, The Urantia Book, unborn

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

What difference does it make to anyone what choices I make for myself?

Q: What difference does it make to anyone what choices I make for myself, whether I go to school, live productively in society, have a career, or a family, or whatever, so long as I donâ€™t hurt anyone else and do my best to live with the choices I make?

A: There is no need to apologize for the life you have chosen for the sake of those who have expectations about your choices in life. Itâ€™s your life and you have every right to choose not to go to school, not to have children, not to get a job, and not to participate in society. If these life choices did not and do not appeal to your sensibilities, you are right to reject them, and you owe no one an apology or even an explanation. However, if you have regrets about the choices you have made then you are really apologizing to yourself. And you will need to forgive yourself if some of your life choices didnâ€™t have the outcome you had hoped for and then make better choices in the future. Try not to feel so bad, this is a part of life.

Each day we make choices that will affect our future. No matter what choice we make, the path we take will be fraught with difficulty and joy. No one chooses the perfect path, for the path of perfection does not exist in this world. All we can possibly choose here is a path toward perfection, and that path is long and arduous, and full of trial and error. So often we think â€œIf only I had done it this wayâ€� or â€œI would have been better off if only I had done that.â€� We would do better to make the most of the path we have chosen, to bring meaning and value into our life as it is, and let go of regrets and guilt about what might have been. God is the master at making lemonade out of lemons, and we could all stand to emulate this divine quality in our own lives. If we feel that we have made a serious error in choice, we must do all that we can to correct that mistake. I have a Native American friend who says, â€œIf you make a wrong turn, you must make two right turns, one to correct the wrong turn, and one just for growth.â€�

You say that you are not great in the kingdom but you are a child of God, regardless of your current frail human status. What father of a large family would ever slight the youngest member just because he was young and inexperienced? The youngest in a family is often greatly blessed by the experience of his older and wiser siblings who willingly help him find his way, if he will only be willing to ask for their help and listen to their instructions. You would do well not to slight yourself. God is no respecter of persons, and he loves you as much as the mightiest spirits of creation.

Rest assured that God is always here to help you in every creative endeavor. He will help you to share these good gifts with humanity only first you must desire his help. Pray for it, and it will be forthcoming.

Every blessingâ€¦.Paula

Labels: free will, God, Paula, regret

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Saturday, October 08, 2005

Changing your inner self

You asked how you can change your inner self and I submit to you that the fact that you desire such a change is an indication that it is already happening.

Each human being is absolutely unique. The Urantia Book says it this way;

The love of the Father absolutely individualizes each personality as a unique child of the Universal Father, a child without duplicate in infinity, a will creature irreplaceable in all eternity.

Ponder that for a moment and really let it sink in. You are a child without duplicate in infinity, irreplaceable in all eternity! Now, ponder the fact that a piece of the Father's ultimate perfection lives in you. It only makes sense then that all significant personal change occurs from the inside out and this process is greatly facilitated if we do not resist it but accept and even embrace it.

You expressed some regret about the mistakes that you have made.

I can assure you, there will come a time when you realize that your mistakes and experiences have been your greatest teachers. Our patient and loving Heavenly Father expects us to make mistakes. In fact, he set that scenario up. He wants us to strive for perfection, but he knows (better than anyone) how far away from that lofty goal we are. His desire is only that our intentions are turned toward that goal and that we are mindful of it and working on it. The pain you feel about your mistakes is good because it suggests that you are conscious and moral.

These comforting words of Jesus always help me through a dark night in my soul:

"Do not become discouraged by the discovery that you are human. Human nature may tend toward evil, but it is not inherently sinful. Be not downcast by your failure wholly to forget some of your regrettable experiences. The mistakes which you fail to forget in time will be forgotten in eternity. Lighten your burdens of soul by speedily acquiring a long-distance view of your destiny, a universe expansion of your career."

You asked what you can do to make your mistakes right.

A Native American friend of mine says, "When you make a wrong turn you must make two right turns. One to correct the wrong turn and one just for growth."

I love this simple kind of wisdom.

You wondered "where exactly" you are going.

You are headed into eternity to become perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect.

It's a journey that he has prepared for you, but it is your choice whether or not to take it. He has provided all you will need for the journey and even more, he has given you a piece of himself to live in your heart and mind and act as your personal guide. All this, to ensure your safe arrival home to Him where he actually dwells at the Paradise center and source of all that is. This is your eternal destination but getting there will also be sublime.

Jesus once told a Chinese merchant, "...we shall meet again in the worlds of light where the Father of spirit souls has provided many delightful stopping-places for those who are Paradise-bound."

Quoting the book again:

Love of adventure, curiosity, and dread of monotony--these traits inherent in evolving human nature--were not put there just to aggravate and annoy you during your short sojourn on earth, but rather to suggest to you that death is only the beginning of an endless career of adventure, an everlasting life of anticipation, an eternal voyage of discovery.

Quoting from Jesus again:

"You may be surrounded with small enemies and be retarded by many obstacles, but the big things and the real things of this world and the universe are on your side. The sun rises every morning to salute you just as it does the most powerful and prosperous man on earth."

My thoughts and prayers are with you. May the golden white light of Christ enfold you in healing and peace.

Blessings always.....Paula

Labels: God, humans, inner life, Jesus, mistakes, Paula, regret, The Urantia Book